"If you are white, everything is all right"
“If you’re white, everything is all right,” followed by a wry laugh. My heart cringed every time he uttered that confounded, racist sentence. But it was more than the words that made my stomach do a somersault; it was the bitter, pain-filled undertone lurking conspicuously behind his feigned cheery laugh.
He was sitting 3 seats behind me on the bus. A Southern Sudanese gentleman who caught my attention at the station partly because Southern Sudanese people are rare in this part of the world, and partly because seeing a piece of my home chased away the loneliness I felt amidst the different nationalities that frequented the bus-stop.
“If you’re white, everything is all right.” That line again! It’s incessant repetition and the dark sarcasm it was imbued with aroused my curiosity that I couldn’t help but wonder what tragedy had befallen this man & instigated him to reach such a conclusion. I wasn’t seeking an answer and in fact, I didn’t need one because I think, deep down, I was perfectly able to understand his concealed pain. Racism has always been my childhood companion. “My monster in the closet” save that it was real and tended to pop its hideous head anytime during the day. I can still vividly recall the taunting faces, jeering comments, and disgusted facial expressions of the Arab kids at school. “Black,” “Sudaniya,” “Why does your hair look like that?”, “Why do you have this dark skin color?” “Thank God that he has painted me white” & so on & so forth. Palestinians, Iraqis, Lebanese & Emiratis; all who thought that they were superior to me due to their white complexions.
It was a devastating experience. Those ignorant children/youth had no idea how excruciating and mortifying their mockery was, and the hampering impact it had on my self-esteem and confidence. They drove me to hate myself and wish to be like them. They pushed me to the edge of inferiority and drilled in me the pseudo-fact that I’m worthless because I’m black. It was only recently that my skepticism towards dealing with my fellow Arab nationals has abated. Thanks to hip-hop in the 90′s & the likes of 2pac(back then), G-Unit & Beyounce (now) that the Arabic world began to see us in a different light especially those of us who live up to these Black American icons.
One memorable incident was when I was about 6 years old. I was playing with my neighbors when they suddenly began a parade of derogatory remarks. I was sad. I went back home & told my father (RIP). He was enraged, went downstairs, assembled the children and gave them a tear-jerking lecture about discrimination. From that lecture, what stands in my mind till this day is my father’s “Whiteness is not that which defines your skin but what is in your hearts.”
The voices in the bus jarred me back to reality. The guy was still talking on the cell phone & mouthing those words. The fact that he was a Southerner amplified my sympathies simply because he must have endured the same kind of abuse in our homeland too. How ironical. Truly, shamefully, and revoltingly ironic!! Imagine my shock when I went to Sudan for my university studies in 1998, having escaped the clutches of racism in the UAE, only to come face-to-face with it one more time in my country! Maybe not strongly inclined towards me but, nevertheless, staggering and humiliating; an epidemic disease rotting in our culture.
Why do we, whether the Arabs or Sudanese, trample on each other by virtue of a mere skin shade, which is a gift from the heavens? Has anyone ever envisaged how dull, ugly and colorless this world would have been if everything including humans looked like each other and had the same color? Why does beauty have a specific criterion when God has intentionally diversified and created beauty in all shapes & sizes? Why does COLOR matter so much? Why have millions been harassed and victimized for something they had no hand in? Why can’t we invest our precious time in building our societies and spawning love and collaboration between each other? Why?
I suppressed the urge to turn around and hold his hand. I wanted to look him into the eye and tell him that he should love himself and should never think less of himself whatsoever. I wanted to tell him to hold his head up high; to be proud of who he is and of his beautiful ebony skin tone. I wanted to tell him to never permit anyone to insult him because he has as much right as they have to a better, peaceful and prejudice-free life. We have all been created by the same hand & have been moulded from the same clay.
On Judgment Day, God is not going to make his judgment based on your complexion, race or beauty but on what good you have sowed & what values you have been able to maintain.
NB: For fairness’s sake, racism in the UAE has dwindled vis-a-vis my childhood days.My siblings, who study in the same school I studied in, thankfully, are not going through the same ordeal that I have gone through.
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GREAT posting.
One bit of irony, is that in the white group, there isn’t some satisfaction at having achieved something over other folks. No, not at all!! THERE is still the animal running loose. We have to create a hierarchy within and among ourselves, in order to fulfill some soul sickness. THere are “in’s” who are more IN, and “outs” who are at the lowest level of the “in’s”. Like I said just like the animals……only worse because we have souls.
My mama taught me one phrase often enough: “What goes around comes around”. Regarding racism, that stain that is cast out onto others will come back on us, eventually. I think it used to be alot slower, so maybe some of that is what is causing Iraq to explode. The US went and took the lid off the rotten stew underneath, and the gases trapped in there exploded, and who would have thought that from outside people who prayed together 5 times a day would do what they’re doing to each other.
It will come back around. just you wait and see. It comes for all of us, even me.
I was trained as a cultural anthropologist (my first degree), and I was taught that there is no such thing as race. Want to classify people on the basis on skin color? How about blood type? Lung capacity? DNA? Eye color? It’s an inaccurate concept and one that is used to perpetuate unfairness and bias. My two kids have the whitest skin and blond hair, but they are part American Indian—it just does not show up in their appearance —genotype vs.phenotype. Appearances are deceiving, and a person’s values are the most important. I am just sick of racism and prejudice, although I will say that I am seeing a huge decrease in the US since my childhood. Your post draws attention to the problem that still exists everywhere. I hope that a rational, informed philosophy will replace it. We are all human.
Edo River, thankx,
“One bit of irony, is that in the white group, there isn’t some satisfaction at having achieved something over other folks. No, not at all!! THERE is still the animal running loose. We have to create a hierarchy within and among ourselves, in order to fulfill some soul sickness. THere are “in’s†who are more IN, and “outs†who are at the lowest level of the “in’sâ€. Like I said just like the animals……only worse because we have souls.”
Interesting point.This so-called ” hierarchy” is also evident in Sudan where the lighter your skin shade, the better!!!
“What goes around comes around” I strongly believe in it too & the craziness happening in Iraq is disgusting.
Lynn, thankx & you have said it well in “Appearances are deceiving, and a person’s values are the most important”
My mom is originally Turkish,Egyptian & Ethopian & she is considered white.When I go to Sudan, ppl,sometimes, compare me to her & mention the darker skin tone which Ive inherited from my father.It bugs me to the bone!!!!
“I hope that a rational, informed philosophy will replace it. We are all human.”
Amen
Temiladi, Bauni:) if u’re from Uruba.Your comment has not appeared on the forum but I’ve recieved via email.
It is truly sad & ironical-like some kind of vicious cycle & a chain reaction.
The idea of ” the best of the worst” hurts a lot & I’ve experienced it.
Thankx for the feedback.
Hiba, in the US the schools–where so much socialization occurs and opinions are formed–the official policy is to celebrate diversity. How well this is done rests with the personal commitment of the teachers and their effectiveness in fostering these values. So, things are getting better here, at least here in Texas where I teach, but there is much to be done to improve things. I read an article by my favorite columnist, L. Pitts, an African American newsman and one of the most reasonable, insightful men on earth. He reported on a study done recently with children and dolls. A great percentage of African American children chose the “white dolls” over the “black ones”, saying that they were prettier and better. Some even said that the black dolls were bad. One of the teachers that I went to school with for my Master’s degree talked about the perception of children (in the US, actually here in Texas) about skin. She is a lovely Hispanic woman with medium dark complexion–very pretty. She said that he young son told her “Mom, you have brown skin, and I want you to have white skin.” Here was a young elementary school boy that had already formed this opinion that his own mom’s darker skin was not want he wanted. This is terrible. I think that there should be some worldwide campaign to show the different kinds of beauty–and tie that concept of beauty to values rather than physical appearance. I am very blonde with blue eyes, and I always wanted dark skin and brown eyes–so I guess we may want what we don’t have to some degree—but I think that when a child does not want his skin color or religion or ethnic identity because it is perceived to be inferior by the wider society, this is a serious problem that needs a solution.
Lynn, great to know that things are improving in Texas.Parents & teachers both play an important role in fostering such values.
Thankx for sharing the interesting yet disturbing article by L.Pitts.
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