Conversation With Dad
Last week for Thanksgiving I went home to my parents house for the first time in a couple months. Going home to my parents house totally sucks ass, I get severely bored plus keeping my father in a positive, not complaining, not yelling and not depressing mood is impossible. Trying to keep him in a good mood so hedoesn’t terrorize my family and I has been my chief duty for most of my life and as the years roll by the job hasn’t gotten any easier. There is a formula to approaching the situation and it goes as follows…
1. Avoid eye contact.
2. Walk away slowly and calmly.
3. In the event of an attack drop into the fetal position.
Wait that’s for bear attacks. Hmmm well whatever.
On Thanksgiving I walked into the house, gave my mother a hug and said hello to my father who was sitting on the computer inhaling as much news and politics as he could (I wonder where I get it from). If I’m right about his patterns he was in the same spot doing the same thing since 6 that morning. Hedidn’t acknowledge my hello but that’s not unusual, when my father is reading he is virtually dead to the world. When I was a kid me and my friend had a game we would play, the object was to see how obnoxious and loud we could be (while he is reading) in the same room before he would take notice. I could probably pee on my dads head while he reads without incident.
After saying hello I sat down in the adjacent kitchen to keep my Mom company while she cooked which reminds me of another topic, my Moms cooking! Some of the food made mesalivate and some of the food made me gag but whatever, I will get to that on another post.
When enough time had passed I decided to break the ice with my Dad…
Yours Truly: Hey Dad did you hear about the police torture videos in Egypt? (remember I hadn’t seen my family in months so this was a fresh topic between the two of us)
My Dad: The police torture people in Egypt, what about it, you didn’t know the police torture people in Egypt?
Yours Truly: Yea but now there are videos of it on the internet.
My Dad: Videos, by who? The BBC were watching with a camera crew or something? (very sarcastic tone)
Yours Truly: No obviously not, the police were video taping it for their own entertainment.
My Dad: Yebni (my son) its a video on the internet, anyone can take a video of whatever and say it was whoever, don’t bother me with stupid stuff.
Yours Truly: What are you talking about, you acknowledge there is torture in Egypt, is it inconceivable that someone would video tape it? Plus who would subjectthemself to clearly painful torture like having a stick shoved up their ass just so some Egyptians in Chicago can talk about it?
My Dad: Listen, I don’t care about Egypt anymore, the country is shit now, all I care about is our family there and that’s it so just shut up with this crap.
So much for keeping him calm and positive.
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Sort of reminds me of when I was a college student, going home….Nice to know it doesn’t matter which cultures we come from.,,,, So my big concern is how much I will become like my father was …..there are some similarities, and some differences….hard to say which ones will win out later…
Reading the news is a good way to become gloomy. Yes, I read the news too. But not as much.
what a nice article.
what really hit me was the following :
“My Dad: Listen, I don’t care about Egypt anymore, the country is shit now, all I care about is our family there and that’s it so just shut up with this crap.”
I think this is becoming increasingly frightening, alot of people are feeling the same (including my dad) … he is just saying let those bastards do whatever they do as long as it doesn’t affect my family directly.
People are becoming more individualistic, its just ME, because we are assuming that the rest are thieves and bastards, all want to rob the country.
I believe that things won’t change unless people realize that they can do something about it and start being positive about things.
Exactly Bashar, you picked up on a main point of the post, the reason why I wrote it in the first place. Many of us living abroad viewing our country through tinted windows see nothing but darkness. People like my Dad forgot what they loved about their country and if you ask him he would say “nothing”. I love Egypt unconditionally and I strive to make it a better place.
Well, even the Vietnam war blew over. Of course things will eventually get better. The only question is how long will it take.
Hahahaah! That was hilarious
Your dad reminds me of mine too, I guess this is a trend since Bashar’s dad is also the same? Everyone just wants to stay away from politics, thinking nobody can change anything. My dad always says, “can you name me an activist whose life wasn’t miserable? Do you want to end up like that one day? Stop being so stupid, once you’re into politics you won’t get out, and you’ll bring us down with you, is that what you want?”
Always the same attitude. It’s so discouraging. I don’t think they’ll ever have enough hope to believe that this new generation might actually make a difference.
We’ve been saying that since 1967, Edo.
Just wanted to add that my father is also a member of this ‘passive yet patriotic club’. He LOVES insulting and cursing Hosney Mubarak and his gangster, LOVES to point out incidents proving their embezzelments, never stops declarung his love for Egypt..yet when i choose to study journalism to speak out and take a stance, he was the first one to discourage me, citing the Egyptian Security Forces raping an Egyptian female reporter during the Lawyers issue.
The strange thing is that immigrating Egyptians always ask the same question ‘if all Egyptians lost faith in the current regime, then why dont they do something about it?’ Its not a tricky question and the answer is very obvious if you just take the underground once at 8 am heading to Cairo University, or back home at 2 to 4 pm: people believe that discussing politics is a luxury for the elite only. They have more important problems to take care of like food, schooling and others.
So i ask myself another question: y dont egyptains who are living more comfortable lives do something about it? And when i faced dad with this question he said: what could we do??!?!!?!??!?!?!?! We’re outside and they’re inside!
But didn’t Al-Khomainy start a revolution when he was out of Iran? and didn’t Saad Zaghlool provoke an Egyptian revolution when he was in exile back in 1919? (I couldnt tell my dad that though coz that would surely wreck his peaceful mood)
But yeah, there is alot that we can do if only Egyptians loosen their grasp on personal greed and individual profits.
I believe that patriotism is a very complicated thing: it requires care and carelessness at the same time. Those who decide to oppose a dictator and speak their mind because they CARE for their country, should also develop a sense of CARELESSNESS to whatever dear thing they possess, because they are most probably going to lose it.
There is a reason why patriots turn out to be heros.