Twisted Propriety
I was attending a lecture at King Saud University today, when the professor asked a simple question.
Only three girls raised their hands to answer.
The professor then got frustrated, and asked what the matter with us was and why don’t more girls at least attempt to give an answer.
What followed was quite a disturbing narration (By… Let’s call her girl1) of how it all had to do with Saudi culture. Girls in particular are praised for being shy and timid and not having a point of view.
Now this must sound ridiculous, even to my fellow Saudis, but I cannot say it is not true. This is the case in most house-holds in Saudi Arabia.
I have met many girls whom I (at the time) thought were ignorant or dumb, girls that only tell you what they really think of anything after endless prompting.
But the more I think of girl1′s theory, the more I realize how much truth there is to it.
The most popular word in everyday conversation among the youth of Saudi Arabia, I have noticed, is the word “3adi” (A’adi.)
Basically, when someone says “3adi”, they are telling you they are indifferent.
This blasé, ‘to the devil with it’ attitude is what happens when children are told that speaking up is rude or inappropriate.
It is human nature to know exactly what it is you want. It is human nature to say what you think and to act upon it.
Anything otherwise is the result of following the teachings of uneducated old women who were at the time, probably just desperate for some peace and quiet.
Join the Conversation
I have read quitea few articles about the youth at KSA and to tell you the truth is very shocking. people are simply living in a choke !!!
how can you develop as a person in a society that tells you that is right and what is wrong ALL THE TIME.
Very interesting entry you got there. I’ve always said that without freedom of expression (or the need to express your opinion,) which many young people don’t have means people don’t bother with education. In high school, I had the same problems, I had so many opinions at times but didn’t bother voicing them because I was actually scared of what my teacher would think or how the boys in the class would react.
My friends and I would talk about this at recess, “did you hear what he said, how could he state such thing? I was so appalled! And what do you think about the other conversation, wasn’t that guy a bit sexist?”
The thing is, we should’ve been having this conversation IN class, WITH the rest of the class, but fear stopped us. We were always seen as people with no real opinions, and people who never give controversial issues (or any subject) much thought.
Towards the end of the year, my friends always told me, “don’t bother.” And being me, I had to talk about things, but they no longer cared or were as passionate about it as I was. But I also saw the way this effected their studies. They lacked critical thinking abilities. They only memorize, blurt out, and that’s it, they’re done. No opinion expressed, no criticism.
I’m very glad that we actually have a female writer from Saudi who can sort of tell us about things first-hand. There are lots to read about these things, but hearing it from someone who actually goes through it is always more interesting.
sarah your comment reminds me of what IS happening at dinner right now, downstairs. Sho, 17 is part of the
“muri-muri” (impossible) generation.
She says that she and her friends use this word a hundred times a day. “Muri” means “impossible” and it applies to any request by teachers or the school administration or even friends. Turn to page 7 is answered with “muri, muri”. Answer a question is replied by “muri” and so on. It is hard NOT to think of it humorously, that this is just the current language fashion.
Where as I was joking with Keiko (my wife) that she was of the last of the “Ganbatte” (“do your best”) generation.
These high school girls teem with opinions, but, as Sarah suggests, they are kept to themselves and not expressed to the teachers, parents, etc. To some exctent it seems mild, but on the other hand it is important to practice public negotiations with your opinion and to learn to tolerate a little give and take. If you never practice, you can’t rely on your skill in some emergency, when it may become very important to stand up for justice, for basic human rights.
As you know Japan’s birthrate is THE lowest of the of the modern industrial countries. There have been a list of factors that have contributed to this condition. And it won’t change any time soon. It is interesting to wonder what effect this will have on the current teenagers who are a growing center of attention because their numbers are a signal about SOMETHING, that is happening, IS it for the better or for the worse? Does it matter whether it is “muri muri” or impossible? Time will tell. The basic concern of women’s rights begins with “girls’ rights”. What ever those are. The girls will have to learn to assert themselves in public, men will not just hand over control and power unasked. Negotiations of what is fair, what is just, and the weaknesses of human nature will have to be brought out in the open. Girls are not going to hear boys apologize about much. And boys will continue to expect girls to always apologize to show their love, etc. IMO
oh and let’s not even mention if the girls are fat and ugly. I would guess that their case is so hopeless that even their average looking friends have given up on that. First we have to get the good-looking girls their rights, right
?
Is there any greater tyranny right now than the one of appearances?