Gimme Gimme Gimme… or I'll Cry
Follow-up article from a friend who wishes to remain anonymous. Enjoy:
Well… I guess you can call me Freddy Jueger…’cause “I’m baaaaaaaaaaakâ€.
Last week I left you with some brotherly problems and red soup issues. If you, didn’t read it, and feel justifiably short-changed, well Esra’a and Jina have done a sparkling job with the site and you can easily find my piece in the archives.
This week, we again are confronted with the continued family issues of my dysfunctional ancestors, “The …†whoops…no last names yet. Now how are we going to make a winning American sit-com without a last name? Hmmm. Too bad, it could have been a hit, just like “The Jefferson’s†or “The Simpson’sâ€. Can’t you see it, feel it? “Oh Rebecca, I’m home. Oh, what’s this, lamb again? ‘Doh’ or better ‘Oy!’. You get the picture? All the characters will have great catch lines like; “eat my tunic†or “gigidity gigidity, oy vehâ€. Ah what could have been? However, we have family, dynastic and philosophical issues to ponder… so best we proceed.
As I noted last week, Jacob turned out to be no slouch when it came to pillow related sports. The man fathers over a dozen kids, including twelve boys, the 11th turning out to be, Joseph, quite a guy by any measure.
Joe has at least two salient qualities. One, he is quite the prophet/dream interpreter. He also has no difficulty with conquering humility and soon is not only utterly adored by his dad, Jake, but despised by his brothers. Tensions rise when dad decides to pimp Joe out in a new sports coat and culminate when little brother predicts that all the other brothers will end up not merely kissing his tuchcas, but bowing down to him.
Well, enough is enough. How much can a guy take? The brothers plot to kill him, ( or worse, get a Jewish lawyer and sue him) have a change of mind and sell him off to the wicked old Ishmaelites who just happened to be caravanning along about that time. Off to Egypt goes Joe, ends up getting in good with Pharaoh, gets a major promotion, ultimately moves the family in to a suburb in Goshen, awhile latter Moses comes along and the rest is history…more of that to come.
Oh there are so many lessons the reader can glean from this parasha (Torah section of the week), but here I want to focus on just two, which are very closely related anyhow… jealousy and comparisons.
It took me many years to finally understand fully the utter destructiveness of making comparisons, which typically lead to envy and jealousy. If you, dear reader, wish a genuine guaranteed key to unhappiness, keep making comparisons. Not only does this lead to bitterness, but is based on a very important and very false premise. Think about this, dear reader; when one makes comparisons, one inevitably focuses on a given trait or two the other has. This might be; looks, money, husband, wife, smart kid, house, car etc. However, does one need to watch the E channel or VH-1 or MTV to learn at least two important things; success is often quite fleeting and having a lot is not always all that it is cut out to be. However, this is somewhat of another topic. Sorry that I digressed a bit.
The central point is, that when we make our comparisons, we ignore and/or can’t take into account the entire enchilada (that is Mexican sambusak for the unfamiliar), the whole picture. So you think Sally or Fatima has the hottest boyfriend and you feel hateful and jealous? Have you taken into consideration that; he could be violent, she has hateful parents or suffers from chronic hemorrhoids, that she has a vicious step-mother, or feels like a failure in school? I don’t think you have. Instead you feel jealous and bitter and cheated, don’t you? Want to throw her in a ditch and sell her off to some Ishmaelites?
Instead, dear reader, check yourself. Have you thought through the entire picture? Have you overly focused on one trait? Have you forgotten how to experience gratitude?
If you are human, and I am going to assume this includes that majority of my vast readership, then you/we have certainly fallen into this trap. And perhaps this can be viewed as a microcosm that could reflect the macro of some of the biggest issues we face in the world.
Have a good week.
Join the Conversation
Esra’a should stop smoking those dried grass.
But Jinaaaa, I enjoy it. Just so you know I didn’t write that article, Anonymous did.
Mr. Anonymous, from this point onwards I agree with you completely and it helps to have someone sort of point out the destructiveness of it all. Some consider comparisons a positive thing because competition can sometimes lead to excellence, or at least that’s what we’ve been told. So, you want to be a better person, the best even, and instead of being happy for others when they succeed you take it as failure. You think you failed because you’re not the person who succeeded, even though it has nothing to do with you.
I guess, as Jina always says, it’s humanity’s fault because there are certain things we can’t control. Bad qualities, including anger, jealousy, constant stress, which all consequently lead to depression are only a few of the many qualities that I’d say most humans out there hold. Even I get jealous of others when they succeed, and it’s a horrible feeling, because it makes me feel no different than the people I complain about.
In a perfect world we’d elect ourselves as presidents or leaders of our countries/nations because we think we’ll be fair and sympathetic, but really, and to be completely honest with you, I think I’d make a corrupt leader. Most of us will. In my case, I’d take complete advantage of my powers, and that’s just because one way of coping with my problems is actually admitting them. I can be greedy, selfish, self-important, and downright stupid sometimes, but what can I do? It’s all part of growing up.
I think it’s a good way to ask God for help too, when I admit these things, because I acknowledge the fact that I have these problems and that they must be dealt with before they cause me or others any harm. I don’t think most people will admit them, due to insecurity and what some call “self-respect,” maybe even arrogance. But if you think you have something to contribute to this world, then get rid of your bad qualities and work your ass of to gain some good, leadership qualities in return. First thing that has to leave is jealousy, 2nd comes this constant need of comparisons, 3rd comes arrogance, self-importance, and last but not least greed. My goal right now is to successfully rid myself of these poisonous qualities.
Does this make sense? I wrote it in a hurry. Good article as usual, though.
Esra’a-
You have inspired me to write a little article latter this afternoon if I can get to it…
But allow me to say this…in psychology they talk about people generally having two main world views…internal or external locus of control. What this means as some folks mostly see themselves at the mercy of forces outside of themselves; society, government, God, Satan etc. This is external locus.
The other is internal…these folks mostly see themselves as responsible for most of their feelings and behavior and even position in life.
You are a #2…the Sudanese Thinker is also. These folks tend to suffer because they can be quite introspective and hard on themselves…fewer excuses…nobody to blame.
I believe that life is clearly a combination of the two….I will try to get an article out and see if you like it. That would be a first for me…
Oh…in terms of this writer…to me what he is mostly trying to say is that when we compare…we don’t consider the “entire” picture…just one of two attributes. I wish I had Mel Gibson’s ass, but good Lawd would not want that brain! But I do think that most people don’t think about the whole picture when they compare…otherwise they would not be so jealous.