Alive and, well…
I couldn’t stomach the Simple Life so instead I switched to a special about Palestinian prisoners in Israeli jails. That sentence could have a deeper meaning, couldn’t it?
Since moving here, I try not to drown myself in Israeli or Palestinian sorrows too often. It’s hard, but I’ve become better at not reading beyond the headlines when the headlines read the words “Hamas,” “IDF,” “victims.” And it’s ok, because even if I don’t read the papers through and through, I can’t help but be aware of what is going on in the tiny space that surrounds me. There is only so much one can bare – at least, one who hasn’t spent 100% of their life in this situation.
This means that a lot of the time, I steer clear of overdosing on specials about Palestinians prisoners in Israeli jails, interviews with Israeli terror victims, shows about Seeds of Peace and especially – the news. I think it’s a lot easier to make your life about being pro-Israel and conflict resolution and defense when you’re far, far away from it and your biggest crisis is figuring out exactly which campus organization put up the pro-Palestinian posters at 6 a.m.
When you live here, Shihab missiles penetrate your conscience and the word ‘threat’ is worn out within a couple of months. You open your bag before walking into malls – even when you’re back in the States for a two-week visit.
And when you watch a program on Palestinian prisoners and consider how closely the one on the left looks like your coworker/makolet guy/cousin, well, you’ve got no choice but to take a second look. And then the Palestinian prisoner’s kid is holding a bag of Bamba while visiting the father he’s met twice. Kinda screwed up, right?
I’m incredibley tired of being told what reality is, by people in jail or people visiting the people in jail or by the parents of victims or by politicians or by documentary filmmakers or by campus collaborators or by the 11:00 newscaster or by little old ladies waiting for the bus.
It doesn’t mean I’ll ever escape that, does it? Not as long as I live here; not as long as I’m alive anywhere else.
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That was rather touching.
I can imagine being in a place ridden with conflicts, especially the ideological kind. Every state seems to be engaged in a massive PR war, which makes the media in general sickening, but inevitably we all play a part in it. I remember that I used to consider the internet as a gateway to a different world, as an escape to a place irrelevant to what we have to put up with in real life, but now it has turned into exactly what I was escaping from. It’s a place full of conflicts, biases, propaganda and it’s generally uncomfortable, especially if you consider what’s going on in the Arab and Israeli blogosphere.
I mean, we all think we’re an alternative media source, because we experience things first hand, but as bloggers we do exactly the same things. We create a reality, write about it, and try to be convincing to our audience, which is what news services do. And what do people do in the comments section? They rip each other apart, just like we do in real life. I swear, it is a mirror of how things actually work, which is deeply depressing. I always thought that if anything was to give us hope, it’s this alternative media outlet. Turns out it’s just as bad from what we have to experience in reality.
Anyways, I’m not sure if that was relevant at all, but you’re right in that we can’t escape it. That’s the job of millions of people out there, creating pictures in our heads and then coloring it, and we call it “reality.”
Esra’a – please don’t be too frustrated – of course the blog-o-sphere is a mirror to reality – all kind of contraversial minds trying to convince, to rip , to prove their opinion as superior -
the great thing in this blog is, that people of all these different origins can communicate relative peacefully – Of course these different minds will never find to a unison superior ideological opinion – but if even 10 percent of the mideast readers, slightly change their mind or put things in question, they strongly believed before by what they read here – then this blog is a success.
I learn(ed) a lot by this blog & so will others do – only in dreams & fairytales quick success will overcome..
there’s also a lot of readers, the quiet majority, who read, but will never comment..
But at a certain point, silence becomes dangerous, too.
You’re right, but it’s fact, that only very few people (like us) stand up to go on the stage of public opinion (& we shouldn’t despise people who are shy or can’t express themselves)- at least democracies give silent & shy people a voice by voting – they can stand up by giving their voice -
but I agree with you, if the silence of people helps to make the really bad action happen, then if these people don’t stand up against, shyness is nothing but cowardice.. (hmm – even me as typically coward sometimes stands up if it comes down to crucial convictions..)
I don’t know if it has to do with fear rather than apathy. The whole point of this blog is to encourage each other to speak up despite our societal limitations, but when some speak up it’s never about taboos, or things that we should actually be discussing, things that have more relevance to our lives than political terrorism. It’s always about trite politics, And I think it has become incredibly tedious. I just hope this site one day will serve as an alternative source so that people don’t have to put up with that here.