Women and sex in Saudi Arabia

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If you are a frequent reader of Arab News, which is by far one of the best news sources from the Arab world, you would have noticed two themes within one of the strictest countries in the region: Sex and drugs in Saudi Arabia.

I choose to first discuss the theme of sex and gender as it is a major taboo here in the Arab world.

Consider this most recent article, which states some horrifying statistics:

RIYADH, 10 April 2007 – Saudi courts have recently seen a number of cases in which women have demanded divorces saying they have been subject to marital rape and unwanted sexual activities by their partners.

As sex continues to remain a taboo subject in the Kingdom’s conservative society, some social activists believe that tribal traditions prevent women from coming out in the open and reporting sexual assaults.

An Internet poll conducted by a local newspaper showed that 42 percent of married Saudi men say they do not have sexual problems. Meanwhile, 93 percent of married women surveyed said they were experiencing sexual problems.

Okay, so it’s an internet poll, not exactly the most reliable method of examining public opinion but you can definitely see some sort of a trend. Unwanted sex throughout marriage is not something that only Saudi women face, but it is some widely accepted belief in Muslim societies that men have dominance over a woman’s body and that it is haram (forbidden) for a woman not to submit herself to her husband’s sexual needs.

Then again, how reliable is this supposed pattern? We are once again reminded here of the unreliability of that specific percentage but we must also consider how hard it is to examine these things if not many want to participate in such crucial studies:

“It’s difficult to carry out any scientific survey, as few women are willing to open up and discuss their sexual lives,” she added.

And thus we can’t find out whether or not this view represents the majority.

Now here’s something for all the Muslim-bashers out there who insist on gender discrimination and cruelty to women being evidenced throughout the Quran (yet, for some odd reason, also insist on NOT giving direct sources supporting their insults to our religion):

From an Islamic perspective, violence against one’s wife or wives has been condemned. The Qur’an explicitly calls on men to treat their women well.

Indeed. Paradise is under the feet of women. From mothers to wives, women are praised throughout our holy book.

One would ask in this case, what options does a woman have if placed under such pressure?

Saudi scholar Sheikh Abdul Mohsin Al-Obaikan told Arab News, “Women need to stand up and refuse such treatment from their husbands by threatening to leave or leaving home for a short while. If a husband doesn’t mend his ways then the law gives women the option of seeking a divorce.”

This is an easy statement to make, but it’s very hard to apply. Many men will simply not allow their wives to leave. This is so hard, in fact, that certain women have picked suicide as a last resort. It happens, it’s not something I would consider uncommon.

Dr. Zain Al-Abidin explains this difficulty further when she says:

There are many reasons that force women to keep on living with their husbands after being sexually assaulted. There is a lack of moral support from society. However, most families blame women for failing to fulfill their husbands’ needs and for continuing to suffer in silence.

And her action against this is a good one. Education and awareness:

Dr. Zain Al-Abidin added that people in Saudi society lack knowledge about sex. She further called for a campaign at schools and mosques to encourage awareness about sexual issues.

I would argue that we can easily extend this to other Muslim societies, namely Yemen, Indonesia, and the most obvious of all, Afghanistan.