Who am I?
I am a woman, a mother, a Muslim, an Arab, to be more specific I am a Saudi, for some, this answer would be enough to categorize me into a weak, oppressed, subdued, sad, superficial, uneducated, ignorant and abused woman.
Isn’t that how the west perceive us Arab (Saudi) women?
Well surprise .. surprise.. there are so many well educated, intelligent and accomplished women here in Saudi working as
educators, women in the medical field, scientists, business women, bankers, artists, designers, journalists, social workers, sales ladies, security guards..
I think that we as women here in Saudi Arabia have come a long way, I have witnessed women pioneer in the fields of business, science and journalism in the last few years which is impressive.
Not too long ago it was thought by some that a woman who attended university was considered taboo, exactly what some might still be saying about women today who are working in banks or hospitals with men as equals.
I am proud that we have done so much in little time BUT we have still a very long journey and many obstacles to overcome to reach our goals. What might these goals be you might ask? It differs from one to another but it simply is the right to choose the life we want to live. Isn’t that what everyone looks for? The ability to live and let live ….it has and will continue to be a very bumpy road!
For women to have reached certain goals or any goal in life they would have had to have a man’s support. I do thank all our fathers, husbands, brothers and sons for making it possible for all those women pioneers to take these few baby steps up the ladder of women’s rights. On the flip side, aren’t we just asking for our independence? Why should a woman need a man’s permission or consent to get an education? Why should she get his approval to work?
I don’t think that any man should have the right to stop any girl’s education, laws should be established to make sure
that both girls and boys get the proper education in this country (religion states clearly that education is a must for both males and females).
To answer the main question, who am I? I have asked my self this question so many times throughout my 20′s. It has been an interesting road finding one’s self… I am sure a lot out there are still looking.
For a Saudi woman who was brought up in a semi westernized upbringing all her childhood then being shoved into the Saudi society and asked to fit in was and still is so hard, finding a middle ground between two extremes is what makes me and others like me an eastern woman who values her heritage yet has an independence in the way of thinking.
We do lead a double standard life here in Saudi, to get accepted by this rigid Saudi society you have to abide and make sure you do not cross certain lines. This is why a lot of us are afraid to speak freely, there are so many lovely and interesting Saudi ladies with so much to give and share but are hesitant and intimidated by society’s reaction.
To what extent can a person lead a double life? let me give you some examples, a liberal person plays it safe by avoiding any problems at work with his conservative employer, he would avoid discussing certain sensitive issues which is very smart, but it would reach to the extent of him having his thob (custom dress) shortened and beard longer (as the conservative religious do) to get a promotion while on weekends he could be getting drunk with his mates.
If a woman is covered up from head to toe in public she is considered an honorable lady although she could be a prostitute under cover (I don’t mean any disrespect to all you covered ladies, just trying to make a point plus I did see a prostitute once covered up in public in Riyadh, that’s why I used this example. I will mention this story in more detail some other time maybe)
This is how things work here, society judges us based on looks, sadly it does not take into account that religion is based on good deeds and actions.
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Rasha this is an excellent introduction. I am so happy you joined us, this is certainly a voice that not many hear or care enough to seek.
Yeah, that’s what people don’t realize… I always made fun of my sister for being in Saudi, saying “what the hell do you do there, other than stare at a wall?” and she gets so angry at me and very defensive. Her ambition doesn’t allow her to achieve as much as she wants which is frustrating I’m sure but she did achieve a lot while being there, things no one expected her to achieve, and having met her friends and other young Saudi women there I can just say that the potential is really huge.. they are really working… they are really contributing to a lot of change and trying to safely battle these stereotypes and limits. Yes in comparison to other countries you do lack a lot, but in comparison to your past a lot of progress has been made… and your post is very hopeful of course because it reminds us of this, and allows us to expect more.
Welcome, Rasha, and it will be very interesting to hear about your life in Saudi Arabia as well as your thoughts about perceptions of you and your country abroad.
Thanks for the warm welcome.. I am looking forward to sharing with you some social aspects of life here in Saudi Arabia and I am open to any comments. But most of what is said are my views which many might share or oppose.
Awesome to have you on
Revolutions happen over night and reforms takes time, decades or even centuries. I think Saudi or any Middle Eastern country will eventually reform to a better place, I have no doubt (unless we manage to whipe each other out -.-). At the same time, reforms won’t happen if people don’t complain and bitch all day long. Weeee and welcome Rasha person.
Hi Rasha, I loved your Blog.. I think your observations and opinions are shared by a wide group of educated and professional Saudi women in my circle.. As you highlighted, professionally, Saudi women have come a long way in a relatively short period of time, specifically in certain fields such as academics, medicine, banking, private businesses, charities and NPOs. In my opinion, there is a time lag between the advances Saudi women made and society’s reaction to them. I think we are a nation that is initially resistant to change, but that slowly starts to take it in and see its benefits with time. As pioneers in our selected fields (and I truly believe that we are the pioneering generation) we find the pace of society’s acceptance frustratingly slow. But we must take pride in our responsibility in paving the way for generations to come.
I really loved the opening of your blog entry and wish you would expand on it further. I find our portrayal in western media incredibly infuriating. We are not the victims they make us out to be. We are strong, feisty and opinionated women. But maybe it is our own fault for not setting the record straight. We are private people by nature, but I think the time has come for us to crawl out of our little cocoons and speak out.
Dear Misho, as you mentioned..
I truey think that if we left it to our society to take things in, we will never progress, the only way to get going is by the support of our govenment and our King Abdullah god bless him who I do believe is supportive but cautious.
They have to set new rules about work, education, driving for women.. etc
As citizens, I agree with you, we have to speak out.
Wow this is great. I’m so glad I learned about this website, and that yours was the first thing I opened!! You’re certainly right that western media, and by extension much of the west (at least in the US), knows very little about the daily lives of women in Islamic countries, particuarly conservative ones like KSA. Even living here in Jordan, in Aqaba only 20km from the Saudi border – I don’t know what life is like for women there, and because it’s basically imossible for me to get a visa to visit, I won’t learn without international forums like this.
Learning what women’s lives are like here in Jordan (especially outside of the capital, b/c women here are predominantly covered to some extent), has taught me a lot about ACTUAL constraints on women’s actions (vs. those imagined by the west). However, given what I know of Saudi law, and what I’ve heard about the conservative trend in Saudi society, I still am left to imagine what constraints are placed on Saudi women. So keep the information coming; I’m here to learn!!
This is a bit off topic but: I’ve worked with CSW’s (commercial sex workers = prostitutes) in the past, though never here in the Middle East. I’ve only done so in Africa, in places where the line between prostitution and sex within a “committed” relationship is very very fuzzy. So your allusion to meeting a covered sex worker in Riyadh – i’m fascinated. How do people know she’s a prostitute? What are her thoughts on the morality of being a prostitute? I imagine that she, like so many others all over the world, have turned to prostitution not out of desire or lack of morals, but because whatever situation she found herself in was untenable, and this was the only option she could come up with to solve it. I know that different people have different opinions of what “untenable” is… (the town I lived in in Madagascar had several young CSWs who were in that line of work b/c their only other work options were being very underpaid farmers. Being a CSW they could afford a mobile phone, a motor scooter, fancy clothes and shoes… things that a farmer’s life just wouldn’t support!) So please – do elaborate on your story as you said you would later on!!
Kathleen, welcome to Mideast Youth… we hope you’re here to stay!
Looking forward to your responses, Rasha.
I knew someone was going to comment on my last paragraph! (prostitution)
I am not an expert on the subject, but as we all know it is one of the oldest profesions in history.
I do believe that women who sell their bodies here in Saudi or anywhere else in the world are not doing it for pleasure. We do have poverty here in the kingdom. I do wonder about women who are alone (divorced, widowed.. etc) with many mouths to feed yet not supported by an education.. what is she to do? I think they turn to prostitution in desperation to survive. BUT, I have heard about women who are well off but want more I guess… they would get well acquanted with rich men who are happily willing to buy very expensive gifts in return.
A few years back, as I was shopping in Olaya street (down town Riyadh), I got into a shoe store, a man and a woman came in, the woman was covered from head to toe and the man looked worried and nervous, I did not take notice in the begining, the salesman was helping them with shoe sizes while I waited in patience for my turn, as she was trying on some boots, her abaya (traditional black clothes) was loose enough to expose her half naked body! my jaw dropped.. she was wearing a blue miniskirt, fishnet stockings and a see through top revealing her bra..she did not even bother to cover herself infont of the salesman or me. After they left, the salesman almost had an anxiety attack, he was a lebanese who was so frightened that the matawaa (religious police) would arrest him.. I calmed him down and left.
A close friend once told me that he was in a shop for men’s clothes in down town Riyadh in a well known mall minding his own business when a woman came into the shop fully covered, she looked him up then gave a piece of paper to the salesman to give to my friend and left. On that paper she offered him her services for a certain sum of money and that she would be in the parking lot wating for him.
I believe the face cover serves other purposes here in the kingdom (other than religion).. it is used to keep one’s identity a secret in public. It is convenient for some who have something to hide.
I totally agree with your last remark there… the face cover is now beginning to tell a different story… “is she religious or does she have something to hide?” is often a question people are beginning to ask these days due to stories similar to yours.
It is really interesting to find out more about Saudi society and the role of Women, so I am looking forward to your posts!
I am very much interesting to know and find answer to my question..
I was born in Nasseriya Riyadh Saudi Arabia…But I was educated and had my Bachelor’s Degree hir in the Philippines,Can I be a successful if will try applying any jobs related to my course Accounting there in Riyadh?