The Most Costly Letter On Earth
Dear Sony Corp. and whoever may care.
Me would lke to start by apologzng for my mspellngs and poor grammar. Me regretfully tell you that my beloved Sony laptop be not what she used to be. Allow me to explan… Approxmately 2 days ago my keyboard malfunctoned, what knd of malfunton you ask? Well maybe that’s not obvous but as you can see the key between the “U” and “O” keys has broken off and caused me to wrte lke an uneducated peasant! Now that you understand my dlemma me would lke you to excuse my not so artculate message.
After observng my keyboard me dscovered that each key be separate from each other and that luckly all me need be that damn key between the “U” and “O” keys. However after further research me dscovered that Sony doesnt sell keys by themselves. Why would you desgn a keyboard wth separate keys of shtty qualty that break off but not sell seperate keys!? Now me have to buy a whole new keyboard! After gong on your webste me dscovered that none of your vendors have the keyboard, apparently shes out of stock whch makes me want to go to your headquarters and smash your CEO’s face wth an assortment of old computer parts.
Eventually me found a dealer who has my keyboard. Me talked to the opperator whose englsh was slghtly worse than a Chnese tourst. However the opperator knew enough englsh to say 79.99 very clearly! 79.99 you damn theves, just to replace that elusve letter between the “U” and “O” keys! Me hope you burn eternally by the flames of hell for your treachery!
Not havng that damn letter has forced me to fnd new and embarassng ways to express myself. Do you know whats lke to wrte wthout the most common letter n the englsh language!? A vowel for Gods sake! Couldnt we have lost the letter “Z”?
79.99′s not the worst of my troubles however, me had to pay for delvery and taxes for a total of 105.50 and then me have to pay to have the stupd thng put n for an untold amount of money! Whch makes that letter between the “U” and “O” keys the most costly letter on earth!
Eat sht Howard Strnger, CEO Sony Corp. (sorry for mspellng your name)
Sncerely D.B.
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Am I the only one here who doesn’t understand whats going on?
yes
Hi Pouyan, this is a satirical piece by DB stating the absurdity of Sony laptops. Only two keys on his keyboard need maintenance but Sony does not sell them separately, so DB has to pay a huge amount just to fix this very small problem by buying a new keyboard. He changed the English to add to the lighthearted tone of the article and to show his frustration with the broken keys. I hope this helps!
DB – Amen! The same problem happened with me when I had a Sony laptop and I had to walk around with an extra keyboard. But I do love their laptops. Style is their strength; performance is their weakness. I vote Toshiba – as ugly as they are! Sony is brilliant but unfortunately thieves.
Satirical pieces sound even better when written with wrong grammar and spellings
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII feel for you… sorry .. couldn’t help my self..had to do that
loved the me this and me that.. Poor you.
Rasha surely gets the joke. And Esra’a there’s only 1 broken key, the one between the “U” and “O”. look at your keyboard, lol
I didn’t like that “yes” at all D.B.!
I know what it was all about, I couldn’t understand why you post it here!
but Thanx Esra’a!
LOL, this doesn’t make any sense! He said that he bought the whole keyboard for $105.smthn! So the keyboard is fixed, why did he write the whole letter without the I!?
Anyway, that was HILARIOUS!
me havent got the keyboard yet, me just ordered the damn thng! me can get the letter only when me press REALLY HARD!
Don’t you throw away the old keyboard, once you get the new one.
PS: You can use Alt + 105 for “i”, or Alt + 73 for “I”
Mata thank you for the t”I”p!
Matata thank you for the t”I”p!