Shobrawy 4 President

by Shobrawy

I’ve been turning over this idea in my head for a couple weeks now and I’ve been presenting it to people to gather their feedback. The premise is if I were President of Egypt (scary concept I know), what would I do to fix the country. It’s mostly for comic relief but part of me is actually serious about what I think would fix the country, which may border on narcissistic insanity.

First step is for me to become President. I dont know how or by what means but I’ll figure that out later. I’m more concerned with what I’ll do once I attain power. I proposed the idea to several people in the following format….

Yours Truly: I have an idea on how to fix Egypt.

Some Random Fool: Oh really, How’s that?

Yours Truly: First I become President, dont ask me how, I’m not worried about that part. I believe I can flip the economy and put the plans in motion to rejuvenate the country in less that one year.

Some Random Fool: Uh huh, lets hear it Mr. President!

Yours Truly: We need to expand the Nile and branch it out towards the north west starting from the middle of the river. If we can expand the Nile we can fertilize the soil and make the desert bloom creating new arable land and providing new territory for the population to expand out towards. 90 percent of Egypt’s 76 million people live within 10 miles of the Nile, they’re living on top of each other. We’ll build entirely new cities around the river expansion, create new jobs, develop new industries and enhance currently inadequate ones, it would be like building a whole new country.

Some Random Fool: That sounds expensive!

Yours Truly: Dont worry I have that part covered. First I go knocking on Americas door and say, “Mr. President, you fund the construction and we’ll hire American contractors and engineers to do the job.” The U.S. will agree, trucks will arrive, dig the river and help build the initial infrastructure, after that the Western, Arab, domestic and Israeli investors will flow in. We’ll open ourselves up to big business who want to sponsor projects with their name slapped on it, similar to Intel’s digital city in Egypt. Before you know it the project will be paid for and the seeds of a new country will be planted in the desert.

Some Random Fool: Actually that sounds like a good plan.

Are you sold? At this point the Nobel Prize committee should be knocking down my door right? Well not exactly, in order for this plan to work its gonna take a war and I dont believe the Nobel Prize people are a big fan of wars.

Egypt has a treaty with Sudan called the Nile Waters Agreement which means taking more than our fair share of water could be a declaration of war, luckily for us Sudan has as much chance against Egypt as Egypt has against Israel. So we’re gonna have to bomb the crap out of Sudan…Sorry Drima.

Now this is where things get sticky, we can handle Sudan but we dont have a chance in hell against Sudans bigger and stronger brother…China! China relys on Sudan for the bulk of its oil supply and as we all know, oil is more than a good enough reason to go to war. So now I’m going to have about 200 thousand Chinese troops on my border, damn! Any ideas?