Confessions of an Army Ranger

by

battle of mogadishu

Last week I was feeling an itch for electronic goods so I made the journey to the electronics mega store known as Best Buy. My friend Pez-D-Spencer works there too so I thought I’d stop by and say hello. I searched the store for at least half an hour and couldnt find him anywhere. Quickly I found myself gravitating towards the department where I feel most comfortable, the essence of my existence, the cell phone department. Coincidently I found Pez over there talking to a customer, this guy he was talking to looked like a mutant science experiment from the future. This guy had long hippie hair, a bandanna around his forehead, a huuuuuge gut and a left leg wrapped in metal, plastic, wires and leather.

I walked over to Pez and stood out the corner of his eye so he knew I was waiting, I wanted him to get the message and speed up his little customer interaction. This guy, the science experiment, was very talkative and maybe too forthcoming with his personal info, it wasn’t long before he revealed he was a war veteran and in my opinion apparently disturbed from his experiences. He told us everything..

War Vet: I’m retired now, I was in the military for 30 years, thats how my leg got like this. I stepped on a land mine in Somalia in 1993.

Yours Truly: You were in Somalia during the Battle of Mogadishu?!

War Vet: Yea I was one of the Army Rangers assigned to rescue the downed pilots in the black hawk helicopters. Those damn Somalians, we didn’t kill enough of them, I dont really like Somalians!

Yours Truly:
Right, I can imagine.

War Vet: When those guys got stuck we killed anything that moved, Men, Women, Children, anything to get our guys out of there!

Yours Truly: Uhhh….That’s..

War Vet: Yea I really dont like Somalians! One of the guys who got shot down was this black guy. They cut off his head and dragged his naked body through the streets…A lot of Somalians died that day, hahaha!

Yours Truly: Wow, umm so when did you step on the land mine? (Me trying to slightly change the subject, I obviously had nothing I wanted to say about that. Not infront of him anyway.)

War Vet: 2 days after the battle of Mogadishu I was walking through a field with my group and then BAM! Half my leg was gone.

Whenever I talk with veterans, which is a lot for some reason, I always end up talking to the craziest most messed up guys with the most disturbing stories. Do I doubt that he killed women and children? No not at all, we already know that happened from first hand accounts. However was it necessary for their survival? I dont know, I leave that up to the guys who had to go through it. Necessary or not though, its very sad.