Back Entrance!
That is what many women in Saudi Arabia are used to..the back entrance while men take the front gate.
Let me explain what I mean, although this picture says it all..
(The red arrow is pointing to the ladies entrance..)
Because of segregation between men and women in the kingdom either at work or homes sometimes, it has been known that upon building one’s home, a front door is created for men and a side (back door) for women to prevent them from mingling!
Some homes have two living rooms built in, one for men and another for the ladies. Restaurants, even if for takeaway usually have two entrances, one for single men and another for families or sometimes ladies only.
I don’t mind this all… what actually annoys me is that men usually get the grand surroundings while women have to go through the back shaggy settings as if women were second class citizens.
I am not just mentioning aesthetics or appearances.. rather the whole package when it comes to women seems to be treated like something of less importance.
If one visits King Saud University campus for girls in Riyadh and compares it to the boy’s University, one would know exactly what I mean. I have seen girls taking classes in buildings that might crumble at any minute!
As I visited the holy mosque in Mecca, I was shocked to see that a very small area was restricted for women to pray while the rest was strictly for men. The whole of the 3rd floor was for men only. Praying areas for women occupied about 1/4th of the space there.. and they keep telling us that women are out numbering men!! hmmm.. doesn’t make sense.. does it?
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What do the women have to say? I’m actually very curious as to what some authors here who are women have to say about this.
I personally have never been to Saudi, and dont really think I would want to go. I have been to Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Qatar and the UAE and although there is a definate segregation in certain places, between men and women, I have found the standards rather the same. In each of the countries, except for Egypt, I feel being a woman I have always been treated with more respect and consideration. For example, when queing, women are sometimes allowed to go to the front. This may be considered sexist… but I’m not going to complain about that!
This is the first time I’ve seen this issue addressed. It is NOT seperate but equal here. It is quite unequal. The first time I noticed this was at a wedding at a Sheraton in Riyadh. Tatty faded furniture (if it didn’t smell, it looked as if it was expected to). My liberal husband gave me a quick tour through/past the men’s section – pristine.
Women’s bank sections are often cramped and understaffed. (There are several that break that mould now however)It is simply a outward sign of a deeper disrepect. That’s why it’s disturbing.
It’s not quite the same issue but Zarqa Nawaz made a documentary about the state of women’s spaces in mosques around here:
http://www.nfb.ca/collection/films/fiche/?id=51517
I’d like to know what the men think about this!
I have no respect for any man who thinks that he is ranked higher than a woman and mistreats them physically, mentally and spiritually. As a Muslim, this unequal standard has always bothered the hell out of me, and it is really not a Muslim thing. It is an insecure man’s thing. I suppose I am this way because I was raised mostly by women (grandmother, mother, aunts, cousins; not too many male figures). In every relationship I have been in, I always stressed equality, but as is my nature, I would do the extra bit to put “ladies first”. A person can have many fathers, but only one mother. No, I am not kissing anyone’s butt here. This is just me. This is why I know I will never ever fit the mold of what Middle Eastern man has shaped as for what a man is to be. Kaliwali… I don’t need it, and neither do you women. With that said, what can we men do to change the centuries old ways?
Oh! If I am lucky enough to get married again (divorced), my house will not have separate living rooms and definitely no side entrances. All entrances will be used as for their convenience, not because of one’s gender. In actuality, the home I build or buy would not be mine, but my wife’s according to her rules. I would be merely a person who lives there! Lol!
I know exactly what you mean. Marriage is not an easy thing. You have to really compromise and strive to make your wife happy, or you will not be happy.
Love mens pain, love mins time lost
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As an American, all this is totally alien to me. I hope those of you in the Middle East will raise children who feel the same way.
gary
Gary, you probably don’t hear of this kind of thing in SF, but there are many parts of the USA where that kind of outdated thinking still exists.
Ya like those wackos who run polygamous compounds near Utah and Arizona.
I just want to add one thing positive that was mentioned by Tamara which is women are sometimes given priority in a queue or line. It happened to me a few times. Cashiers or salesmen are the ones taking such steps not usually men standing in line.
This usually happens because it looks weird for a woman to be standing among men. Many women would feel uncomfortable too. I have been in such situation where I needed to stand in line and I was the only female standing among men. Some men stared at me and it was uncomfortable. The worker felt sorry for me and actually helped me finish so I can leave.
Our society has a long way to go.. segregation creates sick minds most of the time. There is a LARGE gap between men and women, both genders are perceived differently either by society or the opposite sex.
I would think this problem of how society perceives women is evident in many cultures. Women are still looked at as sexual objects. It is evident in the music industry.. media..etc.
Women are still being exploited everyday in front of our eyes, we are just too used to it to actually recognize it..
It is so nice to see such positive comments from the men so far. It pleases me greatly, and gives me faith that we will and we can get out of this backward thinking.
But I would also like to add that there are Women who disrespect and exclude men. There is a place, just near where I live in Wales, called ‘Womans Land’ that only allows women to live there. Any male above the age of 4years is not allowed in, and any women who has a male child above that age either has to leave or is seperated from the child. This kind of thing is extremely distressing to me.
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It’s definitely gonna take time to reverse a course that has persisted for centuries, but I definitely believe that it starts at home with the kids.
That sounds kinda extreme (Womans Land; Womyns Land; I know some women who refuse to even have “man” or “men” in their vocabulary), like a gated community in the USA. Those places really suck!
Isn’t there one of those types of places in Abu Dhabi? A women’s mall? I heard of this a few years ago. I think that the main reason for such a place is to allow women to be able to shop and do their thing without the presence of men. I can appreciate such a place as a kind of “sanctuary” away from gawking men or a male family member shadow, as well as a place where ME women who wear the shayla and abaya can take it off in a total women’s world and browse, relax and not worry about the world outside the mall. I also heard that men aren’t even allowed near the parking entrances to this mall.
Rasha, yeah the music video industry does promote women as sexual objects, and I think that it is centered around a few sets of music genre, and this is just my opinion, but it seems like the women groups really push it further.
I just wanted to add that unfortunately sexism is still rampant in some Jewish religious communities, particularly in the ultra-orthodox ones. I think all this stems from how sex is still treated as a very taboo subject. There are even some crazy extremists who won’t touch the opposite sex! Makes me ashamed.
If the Jewish extremist won’t touch the opposite sex, then how do they procreate or do they have some sort of “special exemption” status they file for or do they take a vow of celibacy or do they have the market covered on sperm donor banks and in vitro fertilization? I can tell you that any man who is going to boldface lie that they have harnessed the sexual energy and transferred it to something else non-sexual or that they do not think of it or desire the feelings associated with it would be the first I’d put a bullet in (a verbal bullet). To deny being human is ridiculous. It would be a medical/psychological disorder (there are people who are in this situation, so I’m not poking fun), if anything. I guess that pent up sexual energy amounts to extremist thinking and acts of flagellation. Damn, I am really going into the abyss with this mindset now, but at least I will mention it. Don’t be ashamed, just don’t associate yourself with that disordered mind. Allah will judge us for our own works in the end, and I think a confession of “I did not have sexual relations with a woman and I made sure to keep them down in your name.” will amount to a one way ticket to hell or at least a very heavy penalty because Allah did not say to keep women down or to treat them as something lower. I bet if a man was allowed to carry a child full term, they would have an appreciation of what it is like to bear the burden of this world and what their mother went through to bring them into this world and the follow-on attention and care that was given and needed by the baby. Again, not kissing butt, but women have my total respect, even if some don’t like men.
I think the rules say that a man is allowed to touch only his wife (non-sexually) when she is not having her period. When the woman is on her period, her husband is supposed to sleep in a separate bed to keep clean. That’s why when you go to an ultra orthodox home you will find 2 beds in the bedroom. Sex is supposed to be done only for procreation, not for pleasure. There are rumors that during intercourse the partners are separated through a sheet with a hole, though I do not know for sure since it’s a taboo topic. Men are not supposed to touch women other than their wives since they may have their period at that moment and the men will never know for sure, so to be safe they just don’t touch. And yes this lifestyle is a psycological disorder.
I am not exactly sure since I am not ultra orthodox and have only had limited contact with them since they are communities are quite isolated. Chabad, one of the main ultra orthodox organizations, has homes scattered throughout the world in which Jews are welcomed at any time. Their homes tend to fill up during the holidays by travellers or other people away from their families. I visited them when I was alone living in Denmark and Sweden.
I should also state that in reform and conservative communities and even most orthodox communities (as opposed to ultra orthodox) these rules are not followed.
Well, all I can say is that these people are living a life of denial. Denial for being human, and in a weird sense, it’s like thy are trying to undo what was done over ten thousand or more years ago. It’s just not gonna happen. A woman having her “friend” is just a natural thing. Hell, even animals go through it. These are the parts I don’t agree with in religion. I think this is where men have weighed in and made some sort of rule on it long ago and sort of made it a message from God. Sorry, but that’s my feelings on it.
Agreed. I think that in recent times organized religion has had a negative role in terms of promoting gender equality, and I would like that to change.
Levylevthuglife,
You may want to compare your views with the efforts of the Baha’i Faith.
http://bahai.org/dir/teachings/equality/equality_gender
Briefly…