Celebrating womanhood in Riyadh..
International women’s day passed unnoticed here in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. Almost all the women I talked to didn’t even know that the 8th of March was a day to celebrate women’s accomplishments.
In such a strict culture as the one we have in Saudi Arabia, it is very difficult for women to celebrate this event openly without being attacked by the conservative religious group who mostly believe that women should not set a foot outside their door steps without a male guardian in the first place.
Yesterday, a friend and I went to the book fair that is held in the capital Riyadh for about ten days. This annual fair sells thousands of books from religious, historic, scientific, legal, medical,children… to uncensored Arabic novels, and that is why there is a very large number of people who are interested in these books and buying them.
There are days and times set for men only and other times for families (men and women). My friend and I made sure it was a family day and headed to the fair. Upon entering the building, a man with a long beard was standing in front of the entrance making sure that no single man entered the building since it was a day for families only! My friend and I looked around and saw about 95% of the women had not only head covers but face covers as well..
My friend and I headed to a specific section where uncensored books were for sale, the place was packed with men and women. As I was browsing through some books, I heard a man next to me repeating under his breath (astagfor Allah) meaning Oh Allah I repent.. he was asking for forgiveness for being so close to two ladies who didn’t cover their faces, that being my friend and I!
I got annoyed at his attitude and pointed out not so kindly that if he didn’t like being in a place surrounded by us women he should leave and visit the fair on the day scheduled for men! No one forced him to come in the first place and if his wife did, then he can wait for her in the parking lot like a good boy..
This man and many like him do this when talking or dealing with strange women (non relatives), I have dealt with several in my work. I usually discard this attitude of attempting to belittle me, since a woman is looked upon as something filthy, dirty and an object of pleasure for men to own and possess. I don’t know why I am becoming sensitive all the sudden to such actions.. I am fed up with such insults I guess!
I was having a conversation with myself on this day ”international women’s day” and was debating if we Saudi women actually deserved such a day! I was looking at it in terms of us not progressing much then I realized that we are constantly comparing ourselves to everyone around us and that is unfair to our own achievements! I am sure we have progressed although it does seem like tiny little steps compared to other middle eastern countries even.
Our country is holding on to certain traditions as if it’s hanging on for dear life, and many of us are pulling at roots that are so thick and embedded so deep in us that it is almost impossible to just extract. I see many who want to discard it the easy way by chopping at the thick trunk of these traditions not knowing that the roots are still embedded there.. they might still grow with the least amount of water. I would rather invite friends who share the passion and interest I have in this unique event, hand each one a shovel then unite our strengths to dig all around the tree to find its core.. roots.. then loosen it up. It will take more effort, patience and time.. Once I feel the ground loose around this thick, heavy and ugly tree, I will embrace it. I might even shed a tear not knowing if it’s for the pains I suffered because of its sharp thorns that pierced through my skin so many times reminding me with each scar of my womanhood, the shame in being a woman or a tear for so many women who moved on to be buried under the ground after they have been buried when they were above it; without having the chance to witness such a bright day where women embrace and are actually proud of their womanhood!
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Dear Rasha,
– means from age 12/13 onwards. Unexplained, because my mother isn’t feminist at all, and I grew up in an uneducated environment with very small mind sets. Since I’ve been living in the Middle East (for 12 years now), I’ve experienced “covering up” myself, as for many years I covered my hair and wore religously “decent” clothes (following the rules of Judaism). I live also in close contact with Palestinian women who, for most of them, cover their hair, but not their faces. And even if I know that the Palestinian society is much more oppressive towards women, it’s definitely not as bad as what you have to deal with… I wish I could help you free yourself… I’ve left the Feminist Movement as such long ago, but didn’t change my attitude. I don’t really know how relations between Western Feminists and Muslim women are, but it seems to me that we all feel for you and would love to be able to help you in some way. Yet, I know that as a non-Muslim my/our voice would probably not even be considered as worth hearing by your extreme male-dominated society. – All this makes me sad – and all I really can say is that my deepest feelings of solidarity are with you! Hang in there – ultimately things just HAVE to change. At least, I hope so.. {hugs}
I read your post attentively and with a lot of sadness in my heart… You say that lately you’re becoming more sensitive and that you’re fed up with such insults… I couldn’t understand you better!! – Yet, I guess you must nevertheless be “used” to such attitudes, like every woman there, you must have quite a “thick skin” to “survive” in such conditions. I couldn’t even imagine to live where and how you must live!! I was born and grew up in Europe, and for some unexplained reason I was a feminist “rebel” from the first hour
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I send my Salaam to the women of Saudi, I hope to see them achieve all the more what they rightfully deserve. Happy womamn’s day to women in Saudi and women in ME and Women all over the world
1.Islam requires covering up modestly.. why DONT THEY UNDERSTAND THT!!
2.same when u r sitting in ur car w/ friends chilling out, watching a movie n they stand close by n KEEP on say astagfor-allah, when a man n woman talk.. [in this case LOST] YTF dont they JUST MOOVE!!
guess tht they make a woman b ashamed of her womanhood in some places,even in some outside cultures
Muneeb it is nice that you give the Islamic laws a mild explanation, I guess it all depends on the viewpoint of the person who learns about the laws. I also have read in a verse in the second chapter of the Holy Book, that there is no compulsion in the religion. In that sense people might follow as strictly as they find necessary, or as much as they can apply the laws to their life styles. I mean this is just a way of looking at religion, what do you think ?
I have no problem with ppl living by the strictest of the interpretations of wht is in the Qu’ran. I knw some ppl who are very strict about wht they even discuss cuz they dont wanna be backbiting or gossiping, n in their presence I respect that. but when random strangers have a problem [cuz I'm sitting in a car park w/ my friends cuz all of our 'families' are in there, n trying to spend the time our way] they come w/ their Astagfor allah’s I just hate them. They live their lives tht way, good for them! but why force it on me?
Although here in the United States we have a very different perspective on women’s rights and women are now said to be equals here in the States, we can sympathize and relate to your situation. In the early 1900′s, many women had little or no rights at all here in the US. Women were not allowed to vote or do many other things that men were allowed to do. Women stayed at home and took care of the house. It’s ashame that in the Middle East the women are forced to act as basically “possessions” to the men. Of course living in the United States we may have a very skewed opinion on whats going on, so when we say this we may be very wrong. However, we do believe that unless the women enjoy acting as possessions, they should stand up for what they believe is right. We don’t quite understand why the man at the book fair felt compelled to repent for being near two women without face covers. Since it was a family day, if he felt uncomfortable with the situation, he should have not have been at the book fair. He needs to understand that women are people just like him. Yes, the women of the Middle East may face hardships at first for fighting for their rights, but in the long run it should benefit the Middle East women greatly.
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