Women Shadows
It is interesting to see how Saudi society perceives half of a country’s population. Populations consisting of man and woman yet when you look around especially in public places such as government buildings you only see men in white robes!
If you look closely you will find women in hospitals and shops but they are hidden. Walking shadows is all you could see. They blame how women cover up from head to toe on religion but it is not so. Religion suggested that women be modest in the way they dress. The explanation may look simple in that being man has power and woman has none, so woman is being controlled and brain washed by the superior man. But it is actually more complex in reality.
Man in a society such as that in Saudi Arabia perceives woman as a sex object and a baby making machine, she is not looked upon as an equal or a human being that has the same rights as he has. He sees her as someone who is weak, a secondary citizen and one who is incapable of making any decisions regarding herself or anyone else for that matter, and that is why he feels he has the right over her, him thinking he knows better! And actually believing so!
Man feels he owns and possesses woman, may it be his daughter, wife, sister or even mother. And because he only sees an object of pleasure in a woman he believes every other man sees the same so that is why he tries to cover her up from head to toe.
So man believes he has a right over her life, choices she makes, if she could get an education or not, if she could work or not, who to marry, how many children to have, how to educate them, not only that but man gives permission to a woman to have a medical procedure done or not, and his presence is needed upon her discharge from a hospital! I believe this is too harsh.. I don’t think a minor should be treated the way women are in such a country.
It is interesting to note that women have half the amount of compensation that a man has, for instance if a woman had a medico legal problem such as removing the wrong kidney! She would be compensated half of what the man is given! Is my kidney less valuable than a man’s I wonder? Is my life not worth living free? Is this how we are perceived? Half a man’s worth? I guess we are not so far off from the old days when they used to bury girls alive before Islam.
This society doesn’t comprehend that this woman is an equal to man with a mind to think, make decisions for her and others; she is not less of a human or a partner in life, she has proven when given the chance of being more superior to man in the work field. But she is always confined by man and that is why her progress is slow and self esteem low. She is not given full authority in a position; rather a man has to be the one making the decisions. Some women are highly qualified but report to a junior just because he was born a man.
The Arab/Saudi man wants to erase woman’s existence out side his own confinement not only by hiding her behind black sheets but her name is considered a taboo as well. Boys are ashamed when their friends in school know their mother’s name. A female’s name shouldn’t be mentioned among the male.
A couple having a new born boy would be called (abo/om folan) meaning the mother/father of the boy’s name but if the child was a girl they wouldn’t want to be associated with her name.
Isn’t it wonderful to be a man in Saudi Arabia? the sky is your limits but for a woman, your home is your limits!
Some western cultures perceive women as the Saudi man does. You will see the same is being done but in a different way. The female is being brain washed by man and society without her even realizing that she is also being perceived as a sex object.
Some cultures exploit women instead of covering them up from head to toe in the name of equality and freedom of the softer sex.
Permit me to just touch on the matter of porn industry and how it is blooming in many countries. It is interesting how it is looked at as an art to exploit women in such a manner.
Man benefits in both cases but society is unstable in both scenarios as well.
The Saudi social structure, it being a tribal society makes it even more rigid and almost impossible for man and woman to reform. They feel obligated to move within the confinement of the tribe and society’s framework because of fear of being rejected. You loose so much when you are rejected from society, you may loose your life in some cases if you were a woman. If you try to break loose, you become alienated from the culture and society you were brought up in. It is not an easy step to make; there is no turning back once you’ve made that step especially if you were a woman. Men have a leeway somehow, society is always forgiving when it comes to man but for women, they would rather stone her than embrace her in many cases!
Segregation creates a large gap between man and woman in this society, neither have a full understanding of the other nor do they know what to expect from one another and that gives birth to a mystification around the sexes. These two gender groups will not find a common ground unless the wall between them is shattered. This society is crippled; it is limping on one leg while the other atrophies from lack of use. It will fall one day if we do not strengthen the other leg and put it in good use for the society to stand with both feet on the ground.
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Hi Rasha- nice to see you back here. Sometimes i wonder, is escape possible? If one feels they can sacrifice contact with family,can one, for example, stay overseas if one is a foreign exchange student? Or leave with a group on an exchange program and then melt into the population of another country? It would be hard I imagine, but do we have any access to family money, which would enable them to live elsewhere? Have u heard of this Rasha?
Hi Rashi
Things are changing, and one should be verywary of the potential of women so much moulded in the traditional context, as you say, because women almost make half the society and imagine half the society having a potietial to be otherwise, this being otherwise every now and then pops up and makes some news and headlines, but then it is influencial, it spreads gradually, consciousness that the turn of century induces on people of the world, you cannot supress that forever. I remember some years back when a Suadi lady, a tv anchor was beaten harshly by her husband, for answering the phone before he did, she let the journalists take picutres of her and spread it in the media, there were two pictures of her, one with a beautiful face and veil from her tv broadcasting program, and one of her black and blue and swollen face in the emergency room before operation. Well, poblicity does control these kinds of behavior, and I am sure these bahaviors are not even appriciated in SA, but as the male controlling and male dominating society goes on dominating, discrimination of women is down played. One thing can make us women of the Middle East stronger, our connection, our constant being involved with one another, creating networks of our own, NGO’s of our own, and gradually men will try to opwn a space for us in the society, a place and space that we deserve, at least even if you regard them as looking at us as object, the way we cleared a place in our kitchens for refregerator and later on freezer, they might let us station our abilities in the face of society
Rasha, I like how you describe the plight of women in Saudi Arabia, and much of the Middle East. For some reason, I can relate to this issue, even though I am not a woman.
Many women are not treated well in the Middle East, and this reality stands as an impediment to progress. Women are the givers of life, and the caretakers of life, and if you demean them, aren’t you in effect demeaning life itself? Women, as the protectors of their children are naturally inclined toward peace, and if you demean them aren’t you in effect negating the possibility of peace? Women, as the “managers” of their households are naturally predisposed to getting things done, and if you demean them aren’t you in effect paralyzing yourself into a state of inertia?
There is a natural balance intended between the feminine and the masculine. Each part comprises half of the whole, and the whole is intended to comprise more than the sum of its parts. That’s why a good marriage is a blessing for the generations.
When men throw that balance out of balance, with false belief, and a false sense of themselves, and a flase sense of entitlement, then they are bringing big trouble upon themselves, the kind of trouble that puts a society out of kilter, and that brings to the surface all the resentments that stain the fabric of love.
It is not only the role of women that has been put out of balance as a result of false belief. It is a lot of other things, like the environment, like ideological extremism, and like our indifference in seeing others suffer the ravages of poverty.
If we want to live good and worthwhile lives, we have no choice but to bring a semblance of order to our lives. And that sense or order cannot be predicated on false belief, such as the belief that we are somehow superior because we are men, or because we believe in this or that religion, or because we are wealthy, or because of our race, etc.
A sense or order will emerge in the world when people the world over begin to believe what makes sense, and begin to buy into an ideology of common sense. There are universal truths that have been put in place, and that we ignore at our peril. We have to somehow find the courage to let go of some of what we believe, in favor of what we know deep down to be true. The courage that we usually reserve for battle, is the courage we now have to summon for the battle that must be waged in our hearts and minds.
Rasha,
I am very impressed with your comments and your observations. I do believe that things will gradually change for the better in the middle east, but it will take education, hard work, unity, patience and most of all time. Good luck to all those women being victimized in their own homes.