Saudi Women Start Campaign Against Late Night Weddings
Author: Esra'a (Bahrain) - May 8, 2008
Apparently many Saudi women believe that late night weddings are highly inconvenient, so they’re campaigning and holding workshops to try and change this tradition. According to Arab News:
Midnight weddings annoy many people, including husbands and drivers who have to ferry the women folk home, and the elderly who are unable to stay up late. In order to encourage people to hold weddings earlier in the day, members of the Women’s Cultural Forum have started a campaign entitled “Our Weddings Are for Our Happiness.”
Seriously though? Out of all the issues that Saudi women currently face, we find a campaign against … late night weddings? Strikes me as a bit insane.
What do you guys think?
I think that every time Saudi women try to exert influence, to make a change of any sort, their voice grows louder. Sure, this seems like a small goal, but the more women there are that speak up the more other women will join them and the more men will listen. This one campaign may not seem very important compared to some of the stuff you do (like trying to free journalists and bloggers) but maybe it’ll lead to a small expansion of women’s influence in SA.
I agree with Elephant. Saudi women need a voice to tackle some of the big issues out there. But they can’t jump all at once. It would be too destabilizing.
If you start with the smaller issues, like weddings, or even driving, then you are sending the message that you have a voice, and that your voice will not be silenced. Once you assume that position, you can move on to bigger things, like equal pay for equal work, or the freedom to marry whom you wish, or even brokering a peace in the region based on the equitable resolution of the issues.
Besides, who wants to go to a wedding when you’re so tired you don’t even know who is marrying who? That’s the kind on nonsense that women have little patience for. Their common sense can and should become part and parcel of the political landscape of the Middle East.
There arguing for this because its a hassel to their husbands or menfolk, who are probably feed up of this sociallizing and because they have been brain-washed for such a long time. “So tired”, only 5% of the women work, on top of that they have maids and chiefs, they stay home for most of the day, the obessity rate for women is 66%. Their changing because it “annoys” their husbands no other reason. They were probably told to change from one of the brainwashed female clerics who is allied to the male clerics. Besides the sheep must stay close to the shepard, can someone say bah-bah-bah. They can’t even play sports, slaves have more rights. lol
I, too, agree with Elephant. At first I thought, “that’s ALL they’re fighting for?!” But then I thought, if it’s such a small thing, then it’s that much easier for people to give in and say, “okay, sure.” And then they can tackle larger things incrementally. I think it’s a waste if they just stop at this, but a larger step would surely get them slapped down.
While I could barely understand Zenobia’s post, if I did understand it correctly, I’d have to disagree with it. I don’t believe they’re doing this because it annoys men, and they want to make life more convenient for men - if this were the case, the men would be lobbying for a change, and it would come about faster. If something’s annoying for a man, there’s a smaller chance he’ll actually do it (the same for anyone, really. Who wants to do something that annoys them?). Meaning that it would be less likely that women who want to attend weddings could go, as they wouldn’t have a ride. Also, depending on what your internal timeclock is, sure, you might be able sleep for the rest of the day because you have no work to do, but your body might not want to stay up until past midnight, and sleep til late the next day. I know I’d probably be annoyed at a midnight wedding, nevermind if they were ALWAYS at midnight.
Zenobia, the picture you paint is not a pretty one. You’re saying, in effect, that even though it seems that the women are advocating for change, that it is just because the men are making them do it. In other words, the women remain voiceless, silenced in fact by their men.
You also speak of an obesity rate of 66%. Here in America we have a high obesity rate as well, I believe around one third. It is becoming the greatest threat to our nations health. Experts try to explain it in different ways: lack of exercise, eating the wrong foods like fast foods, sedentary lives, etc.
But I think that there is also a phsychological and spiritual dimension to obesity. For many of us, when life is not so kind, we take comfort in food. Your husband is cheating on you, so you eat. Your job is tedious, so you eat. Most of us don’t have too many outlets for our frustrations, so we choose to eat, as a way of calming our nerves.
If the obesity rate is high among Saudi women, as you suggest, then it could be a reflection of the pent up anger and frustration which result from being assigned second class status, and not being allowed to live up to their potential. It’s only a guess, but it could be the case.
There is something unnatural about how women in the Middle East are being treated. And don’t be fooled by the wealth. Just because you live in the lap of luxury doesn’t mean you’re happy. You’re happy when you’re productive. You’re happy when you’re allowed to make a difference. If you are told to shut up, and to stifle your best instincts, then you’re not happy, even if you’re rich.
The relations between men and women are dysfunctional in the Middle East, and in much of the West, for that matter. Righting that relationship is probably the single greatest step that could be taken to move the world in a slightly different direction, one that points to peace and stability. When things are not well at home, they are not well anywhere else.
I hear more and more about Saudi women’s voice as a community, an effective community and this is amazing, Viva SA ladies
Indeed, I also thought it a little odd however having just been to a wedding I was tired by 5pm so I can understand the desire!
Seriously, it’s also a useful subconscious tactic that most in SA will not even notice or be aware of. If small victories are won, every small ‘yes’ result creates the right mindset for change. It’s also used as a strong selling method - gain lots of small yes’s and at the end it becomes easier to obtain the bigger ‘yes’…
Most will not even notice the feeling until later…
Josh
Josh, if not all weddings end up that late , that wouldn’t be disturbing, but if traditinally weddings would paralyse the life system of a gorup of people who take part in the ceremony, and than that is wide spread and happens many times, then that would really be disturbing.
some times they mean so much. By the way, in a society where still women are not allowed to drive, women having any kind of voice is a victory 
I agree with you on small victories
Hi Elinor
Earlier in the day is more considerate and that should also be a priority.
Not quite sure about your first sentence but I think you mean if it’s happening to most women most of the time in traditional ceremonies then that is a more severe effect - which I agree with
But like you say, any kind of voice helps and ‘been considerate’ is probably far down the list of thuings to push for in SA
Any small victories will help the momentum…