Welcome Back you are a woman!

by

I was a way on vacation for a couple of weeks and it was a breath of fresh air. The beauty of traveling for me lies in the small things. The things that people usually take for granted such as having the cool breeze brush through my hair, the warmth of the sun on my skin , walking and blending in with dozens of people in the busy streets without having gazing eyes piercing at me making me feel out of place! the scent of coffee and freshly made pastries from little cafes, sitting outdoors in a cafe to just enjoy the moment, never having to worry about who sees me spontaneously playing with my three year old son in public since it is usually unacceptable to express such pleasure in public back home! the ability to take my camera where ever I go and take photographs freely without the fear of someone hitting me with it!
The ability to take a bus, a train, a taxi or my own car without any worries. reading a book in a cafe, in the park or at the beach without someone looking at me as if I was mad reminding me that a woman’s place is at home!
Enjoying the sounds of a band, watching a play in the theater or watching a good movie in a cinema while munching on popcorn!

I noticed that in these few weeks the thought of my gender haven’t crossed my mind; not even once! yet the moment I walked out of the plane coming back home, reality hit me and slapped me hard in the face. I am a woman in Saudi Arabia. The passport control officer hardly looked or talked to me making me feel filthy. At that moment I whispered under my breath welcome back home Rasha!

I didn’t want to read the local news in the first days of me being back, me not wanting to erase what’s left of euphoria I felt from my trip, I rather preferred living in denial for a while. Although following the news between Russia and Georgia had already crushed that euphoric feeling! A few days passed then I decided to face reality as it is and come down from cloud nine and rub my face in the dirt!

I specifically looked for news that relate to the softer gender here in Saudi Arabia and not to my shock I found a handful!
A forty something year old woman in Qaseem (one of the most conservative areas of the kingdom) was arrested for driving. A woman was forcefully divorced from her husband by relatives who went to court and forced her father and husband to sign the divorce papers and why one may ask? yes.. the stupidity again, he was from a tribe of “lesser origin”!

I read several articles about old men marrying young girls either in their early teens or children who haven’t even reached their teenage years. These stories disgusted me. I put the blame on the families/fathers that sell their daughters in such a manner and on the person/sheikh who legalized these marriages. Thank God at least Alobeikan (a leading cleric here in the Kingdom) denounced one of these marriages and ordered for the prosecution of the father.
A legal age ought to be set for marriage for both girls and boys. This is unacceptable and I hope it is being looked into.

An article also discussed all the rights that divorced mothers didn’t have over their children… So what’s new!

A friend of mine had attended a discussion with a scholar and it was interesting to note that the scholar mentioned that a good Muslim woman’s reward in the after life is by being a maiden for the good men in heaven and this ought to be her utmost aspiration. Going to heaven is one of my own aspirations but to be reduced into a sex object for men’s pleasure is not something I would be looking forward to. I would actually rather be sitting on a cloud bored to death than be rewarded by such heaven!

I looked it up and I found similar results. One scholar even mentioned that men are lustful while women aren’t and that is why men were promised virgins in heaven while women were promised beauty because females liked looking pretty! I thought that was demeaning and reducing women to being bubble brains not only in this life but in the heavens as well!

Not forgetting to mention that women have been considered as the devil’s intermediaries and the cause of spread of corruption on so many occasions and in several religions. Some go as far as condemning all women for every sin in the same manner that Eve was condemned for seducing Adam into eating the forbidden fruit! A woman leaving her home going about her business is considered evil by some clerics while the man who is “seduced” by her mere presence is the innocent bystander who’s ”genetics” are responsible for his ensuing sexual behaviors!!!

One scholar even mentioned that a good woman who dies while married will be married to her husband in heaven, a woman who dies single will be rewarded by being given to a new husband in heaven, a woman who had several husbands during her life will be married to the last one she was with in heaven. I could only think of one phrase ” I hope women are allowed to divorce their husbands in heaven!” What if she hated her husband during her life, poor thing, does she have to stand him in heaven too? It seemed bleak to me, too bleak to imagine such a wise merciful God would do that.

I can’t imagine a woman who has a minimum self esteem and self respect can look forward to such a heaven where she has been reduced yet again to a mere object of pleasure for man?! A heaven that is an absolute segment of a sexually oriented male imagination.

A woman has been raised to believe that in being a servant and a sexual pleasure for her husband she is a servant of God and that is the road to heaven.

By now I am positive that you realize that I have left cloud nine far behind and have immersed in my reality yet there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.. but oh my this is going to be a very long one!