David Gee spent six years in the Gulf and has never met an intelligent woman

by

David Gee is an English author and a wannabe satirist. He lived in the Gulf for six years trying to be funny and failing miserably in the process. In order to evidence his failure at humor he felt the urge to publish his poorly designed “novel” that recycles tedious stereotypes about the Gulf and specifically women in this region who apparently live like cave dwellers amongst sex-crazed Shaikhs. Oh, how funny. Of course, he dismisses all of this with the disclaimer: it’s comedy.

Except no one’s laughing.

In fact, reading the extract confirms that this “novel” is more boring than assembly instruction manuals for particle board furniture.

David claims in an equally boring interview with himself (warning: reading it may cause you to throttle yourself)-

I know that there are Arab women who are intellectual and ‘free-thinking’, but I was never lucky enough to meet one.

Six years in the Gulf and not a single “intellectual” woman. Such “harmless” humor, indeed. Raises a lot of great points and contains:

  • Outdated stereotypes about fat Shaikhs that fart.
  • Outdated stereotypes about Arab men and women (Western totty is hard to resist!)
  • The constant assumption that an Arab woman can’t be anything and it’s “revolutionary” for her to crawl out of such an empty shell to become a “president,” despite the fact that the Arab world already has powerful female minsiters, ambassadors, self-made entrepeuners and a female vice president. Oh, women. You disgust me, women. I disgust myself. Why did we not impress David by being “free-thinking?”
  • Outdated stereotypes about the culture and surroundings of the Gulf.
  • Outdated stereotypes about all Arabs criticizing anything they disagree with as a “Zionist” plot.
  • Phrases such as “guys and gays.” Really? Seriously?
  • He claims that he will try to get this thing he calls a “novel” translated into Arabic, but that he will have to find a person with a “broad mind.” Unfortunately in the Arab world he believes this to be an impossible mission. He could, however, find a woman with a broad ass though.

    David, congratulations on being you. Not many people could carry the burden of being Britain’s social and intellectual elite with such aplomb and grace, let alone find the time to be so utterly condescending and arrogant. That is a feat beyond compare and I, for one, applaud you. You are so funny, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.