I noticed that in these few weeks the thought of my gender haven’t crossed my mind; not even once! yet the moment I walked out of the plane coming back home, reality hit me and slapped me hard in the face. I am a woman in Saudi Arabia. The passport control officer hardly looked or talked to me making me feel filthy. At that moment I whispered under my breath welcome back home Rasha!

I didn’t want to read the local news in the first days of me being back, me not wanting to erase what’s left of euphoria I felt from my trip, I rather preferred living in denial for a while. Although following the news between Russia and Georgia had already crushed that euphoric feeling! A few days passed then I decided to face reality as it is and come down from cloud nine and rub my face in the dirt!

I specifically looked for news that relate to the softer gender here in Saudi Arabia and not to my shock I found a handful!
A forty something year old woman in Qaseem (one of the most conservative areas of the kingdom) was arrested for driving. A woman was forcefully divorced from her husband by relatives who went to court and forced her father and husband to sign the divorce papers and why one may ask? yes.. the stupidity again, he was from a tribe of “lesser origin”!

I read several articles about old men marrying young girls either in their early teens or children who haven’t even reached their teenage years. These stories disgusted me. I put the blame on the families/fathers that sell their daughters in such a manner and on the person/sheikh who legalized these marriages. Thank God at least Alobeikan (a leading cleric here in the Kingdom) denounced one of these marriages and ordered for the prosecution of the father.
A legal age ought to be set for marriage for both girls and boys. This is unacceptable and I hope it is being looked into.

An article also discussed all the rights that divorced mothers didn’t have over their children… So what’s new!

A friend of mine had attended a discussion with a scholar and it was interesting to note that the scholar mentioned that a good Muslim woman’s reward in the after life is by being a maiden for the good men in heaven and this ought to be her utmost aspiration. Going to heaven is one of my own aspirations but to be reduced into a sex object for men’s pleasure is not something I would be looking forward to. I would actually rather be sitting on a cloud bored to death than be rewarded by such heaven!

I looked it up and I found similar results. One scholar even mentioned that men are lustful while women aren’t and that is why men were promised virgins in heaven while women were promised beauty because females liked looking pretty! I thought that was demeaning and reducing women to being bubble brains not only in this life but in the heavens as well!

Not forgetting to mention that women have been considered as the devil’s intermediaries and the cause of spread of corruption on so many occasions and in several religions. Some go as far as condemning all women for every sin in the same manner that Eve was condemned for seducing Adam into eating the forbidden fruit! A woman leaving her home going about her business is considered evil by some clerics while the man who is “seduced” by her mere presence is the innocent bystander who’s ”genetics” are responsible for his ensuing sexual behaviors!!!

One scholar even mentioned that a good woman who dies while married will be married to her husband in heaven, a woman who dies single will be rewarded by being given to a new husband in heaven, a woman who had several husbands during her life will be married to the last one she was with in heaven. I could only think of one phrase ” I hope women are allowed to divorce their husbands in heaven!” What if she hated her husband during her life, poor thing, does she have to stand him in heaven too? It seemed bleak to me, too bleak to imagine such a wise merciful God would do that.

I can’t imagine a woman who has a minimum self esteem and self respect can look forward to such a heaven where she has been reduced yet again to a mere object of pleasure for man?! A heaven that is an absolute segment of a sexually oriented male imagination.

A woman has been raised to believe that in being a servant and a sexual pleasure for her husband she is a servant of God and that is the road to heaven.

By now I am positive that you realize that I have left cloud nine far behind and have immersed in my reality yet there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.. but oh my this is going to be a very long one!

I believe there is a plan for this country to reform but it seems like it will take forever if we wait for rigid mindsets that are inherited from one generation to the next to change! And how is it supposed to change if there is no implementation of change from within the country?

It is interesting though to note that king Abdullah is spending much more on education and sending Saudi students from both genders on scholarships than ever in the kingdom’s past years for the sake of bringing back a young hard working generation, with fresh minds that might open the doors to a more tolerant country.
In 2003, Saudi Arabia had only 8 universities that catered for about 22 million people but several universities and colleges opened since king Abdullah was handed the throne only three years ago. There is a plan to open one of the strongest universities in the region in the western province of the kingdom. It is said that it will be detached and free from any of society’s rigid ideologies!

I read a few days ago that new traffic laws have been released here in Saudi Arabia advocating for more strict laws and regulations, but what I found interesting is the removal of the gender male from these laws as Al-Bishr director general of Saudi traffic department stated in a press conference ” The new law speaks only about driver of the vehicle, and there is no specification of either man or woman. As far as driving of women are concerned, we are not bothering about it,” he said.
And here is an article about it.

Some say that stricter rules pave the way for women driving in the near future. This came at a time when three women drove separately in the kingdom in the last week.
A young twenty something year old girl in Riyadh who passed away due to an accident early last week and another lady from Jeddah who was arrested and a 69 year old lady from Hail who passed away yesterday due to an accident that took place with a 14 year old boy !

Another interesting piece of news is that there is a new law that will omit tribe names from passports and identification cards and that is to lessen tribalism between people.
I don’t believe that this alone will ever work on a tribal based society where such beliefs are engraved in people’s minds, knowing that it defies Islam’s ideologies and teachings in the first place.
Islam clearly stated that there is no difference between an Arab and a non-Arab and the only difference between people is righteousness. Not forgetting that Islam was first introduced to a tribal/Arabic society. But we decided to carry pre-Islamic ignorant beliefs instead!
On that subject, let me remind you of the judge “a man of God” who divorced a married couple from each other by force after years of marriage and having children for tribal issues a short while ago.

On a happier note, for the first time in the history of Taif which is a city located on the mountains of the western province of Saudi Arabia, women will be allowed into king Fahad’s football stadium to attend the summer festival there (women will be seated in the ladies section so as not to mix with men of course! But at least it is a step).

But on the other hand, the ministry of health stated that women working in hospitals are working amongst men so they must wear proper hijab and should not apply any makeup at work. It also stated that women are only allowed to wear white long skirts or white trousers underneath their closed white coats!
There has been an acceptance for Saudi women working in hospitals which is a mixed environment (where men and women work together) in the last ten years or so and this statement treats women like school girls and takes us a couple of steps back.
By such a statement, they were able to reduce all these female doctors, scientists, nurses and technicians to a piece of flesh!

This has been an eventful week but the changes I see are more like a yoyo. I try to balance my self on this shaky ground. I worry one day that this surface might just collapse.. I would like to see my self and other women standing stable on solid grounds but we must hang on and be patient, what else can we do?!

mental prison

male vs female

Relationships, what is vs. should be!

tumbled thoughts!

It is interesting how society managed to change its perspective on women. Women in Islam have always been out there in the forefront right next to man; she joined him in battles, tutored men and women alike, teaching and reciting Quran and Hadeeth. Women owned their businesses back in the old days, many used to buy and sell side by side with their fellow men. Women married themselves and had the freedom to choose suitable husbands or suitors without tribal and nationality restrictions that we witness today.

Society was able to reduce woman from being a whole person with an independent mind, thoughts, feelings and social roles to an object of pleasure. Because of that she is now hidden away from fear of male predators that eat away at her bare flesh with their lustful gaze! They stripped her bare from what ever humanity she had. A woman in some countries of the gulf is a mere shadow.. She is black..

I was observing people walking up and down the corridor outside the office I was working in (it being in a public place) and all I could see was either black or white. It doesn’t take a genius to know that men wear white robes (thob) and women wrap themselves in black here in Saudi Arabia.
If you take the symbolic meanings of the two colors chosen for men and women in this country; white meaning pure and good while on the other hand black meaning evil which incidentally also absorbs the heat from the scorching hot sun of Saudi Arabia where the temperature reaches 50 degrees centigrade in the summer, that makes one wonder if the choice was purely coincidence.

It actually saddens me to see women trailing along walking behind men literally covered up from head to toe to the extent that many even wear black gloves and thick black stockings to make sure that no lustful eye could sneak a peak at a female toe or a finger which might switch on a sexual signal/desire from the other sex God forbid!

It makes me sick to see a woman having her 15 year old son as a guardian as if she was mentally ill or what is worse is watching a young boy who can hardly see the road ahead from the steering wheel due to his young age yet driving the family car with the backseats stacked with women and children because a woman is perceived as an object not a mind or a decision maker. A child can drive in this country but oh no not a woman!

A woman has become so much of a sex object that if a home was broken into and the male guardian wasn’t around; police officers would not enter that home nor speak to women residents in fear of being alone with the opposite sex! God forbid an officer might get seduced in the presence of women but it is alright to leave them in harm’s way!
The mindset is the same even in a mixed environment workplace. If a woman is bold enough to work among men then she must be easy. If a woman uncovers her face or hair then she must be asking for trouble and deserves whatever harassment she gets!

I wrote once before about the ambulance refusing to take women in need of emergency medical services without their male guardians! Caution to all women out there, you are not allowed to have an accident or a stroke or..or..or.. Without your male guardian! He has to be around in case you decide to seduce your rescuer while fighting for your own life!

It is also common here to wish a widowed man who just lost his wife to renew his bed partner! Showing no respect what so ever for the deceased wife, on the other hand if a woman is widowed; society would not easily accept her remarrying! How could she renew her bed partner and shamefully disrespect her deceased husband years after his death?!

It also saddens me to see that society was able to reduce man to a semi animal with no self control what so ever although he was able in the past to treat a woman as a peer, a partner, a teacher and a fellow human.

I don’t believe Islam intended for a woman to become such a dependent second class shadow! She definitely played many important roles in society in the past and earned respect from both genders yet now she is not even acknowledged as a whole entity rather she is handed down from man to man like a piece of furniture!

We must acknowledge the existence of both men and women’s sexualities, it is part of the human structure but it’s not all there is.. It is easy to say that we can change societies, educate and provide awareness programs for both genders but the initial step would be to acknowledge this problem and I still don’t think society realizes that a problem actually exists!

This is a photo of a Saudi woman from Hail in Saudi Arabia called Fatema who ruled Hail from 1911-1914 (the good all days when Saudi *Muslim* women were perceived somehow as equals to men!)

I remember reading about her and visiting her site “Heaven’s Steps” (http://hdeel.ws/blog) several months back. I was even more impressed by her when I learned that she gave a lecture at the women’s section of the Riyadh Literary Club calling on women to start their own blogs to help influence public policy and opinion.

Here is an article on ArabNews about her.

She is a loss to her family, friends for sure and to many people who followed her blogs without personally knowing her.. May she rest in peace.

I was shocked when I read the news of his sentence. I am actually shocked that it went to court, for God’s sake the man was having a cup of coffee with a woman in a public place. The victim (and yes I believe both he and the lady are victims in all of this) teaches psychology at the University of Mecca in Saudi Arabia.

How can drinking coffee be a crime? Not only that but the punishment itself be so harsh! Don’t these people (meaning the religious police known as the Commission for Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice) who arrested him have anything better to do than harass and attack innocent people? Aren’t there any real criminals to catch?

I have been thinking all day about this man, how he must feel, the humiliation.. not only that but the pain he and his family must be going through for having a cup of coffee with a lady.

These religious police are blinded by their own ignorance, they attack innocent people in the name of religion “Islam” yet their Islam in my opinion is so far from the truth. Even Allah in the Quran warned the prophet against being rude and ill mannered when dealing with people:

(It was mercy from GOD that you became compassionate towards them. Had you been harsh and mean-hearted, they would have abandoned you. Therefore, you shall pardon them and ask forgiveness for them, and consult them. Once you make a decision, carry out your plan, and trust in GOD. GOD loves those who trust in Him.)

Let us take a thoughtful moment upon reading this verse, Quran was saying that the prophet-hood of Mohamed with all its significance, magnitude and value would be jeopardized if he were ill mannered and it is a clear indicator of the value of leniency, compassion and forgiveness of Islam.

‘Saudi Arabia should stop needlessly persecuting people like this — we want to see a complete end to people in the kingdom being punished for ‘khilwa’ offences,’ Amnesty said.

“Khilwa” is when a man and an unrelated woman spend time together alone just the two of them behind closed doors such as a room with the door shut where sexual conduct might take place. The accusation of “khilwa” here is wrong in the first place so this is a different ball game all together. They were having coffee in a public place among people and I did emphasize the word MIGHT take place because as we know, not every man and woman sitting in one room have sex and in the second place, “Khilwa” is considered in some Islamic traditions as a door to committing a sin but there was never any Islamic text that set a punishment for anyone who is in “khilwa” but some judges consider it a matter to their own discretion or choice.

Why don’t they arrest salesmen working in shops for selling to women next? Or arresting and prosecuting male doctors for treating females?

Why don’t they just build a wall across the country and call it the wall of Saudia and split the country in two halfs?! one half is basically all female cities and the other is all men!
No worries.. I am sure they will make space for a procreation area between the two for couples to meet then go back to their designated place! At least women will regain their independence when they rule their half..
Actually.. come to think of it.. They would rather be tortured than see the day where women are empowered! That explains why this plan hasn’t taken place!

Gender segregation to this extreme creates an imbalanced and crippled society. It is so against nature to divide a society to this extreme and so unfair to punish and humiliate innocent people the way they have.

If you look closely you will find women in hospitals and shops but they are hidden. Walking shadows is all you could see. They blame how women cover up from head to toe on religion but it is not so. Religion suggested that women be modest in the way they dress. The explanation may look simple in that being man has power and woman has none, so woman is being controlled and brain washed by the superior man. But it is actually more complex in reality.

Man in a society such as that in Saudi Arabia perceives woman as a sex object and a baby making machine, she is not looked upon as an equal or a human being that has the same rights as he has. He sees her as someone who is weak, a secondary citizen and one who is incapable of making any decisions regarding herself or anyone else for that matter, and that is why he feels he has the right over her, him thinking he knows better! And actually believing so!

Man feels he owns and possesses woman, may it be his daughter, wife, sister or even mother. And because he only sees an object of pleasure in a woman he believes every other man sees the same so that is why he tries to cover her up from head to toe.

So man believes he has a right over her life, choices she makes, if she could get an education or not, if she could work or not, who to marry, how many children to have, how to educate them, not only that but man gives permission to a woman to have a medical procedure done or not, and his presence is needed upon her discharge from a hospital! I believe this is too harsh.. I don’t think a minor should be treated the way women are in such a country.
It is interesting to note that women have half the amount of compensation that a man has, for instance if a woman had a medico legal problem such as removing the wrong kidney! She would be compensated half of what the man is given! Is my kidney less valuable than a man’s I wonder? Is my life not worth living free? Is this how we are perceived? Half a man’s worth? I guess we are not so far off from the old days when they used to bury girls alive before Islam.

This society doesn’t comprehend that this woman is an equal to man with a mind to think, make decisions for her and others; she is not less of a human or a partner in life, she has proven when given the chance of being more superior to man in the work field. But she is always confined by man and that is why her progress is slow and self esteem low. She is not given full authority in a position; rather a man has to be the one making the decisions. Some women are highly qualified but report to a junior just because he was born a man.

The Arab/Saudi man wants to erase woman’s existence out side his own confinement not only by hiding her behind black sheets but her name is considered a taboo as well. Boys are ashamed when their friends in school know their mother’s name. A female’s name shouldn’t be mentioned among the male.
A couple having a new born boy would be called (abo/om folan) meaning the mother/father of the boy’s name but if the child was a girl they wouldn’t want to be associated with her name.

Isn’t it wonderful to be a man in Saudi Arabia? the sky is your limits but for a woman, your home is your limits!

Some western cultures perceive women as the Saudi man does. You will see the same is being done but in a different way. The female is being brain washed by man and society without her even realizing that she is also being perceived as a sex object.
Some cultures exploit women instead of covering them up from head to toe in the name of equality and freedom of the softer sex.
Permit me to just touch on the matter of porn industry and how it is blooming in many countries. It is interesting how it is looked at as an art to exploit women in such a manner.
Man benefits in both cases but society is unstable in both scenarios as well.

The Saudi social structure, it being a tribal society makes it even more rigid and almost impossible for man and woman to reform. They feel obligated to move within the confinement of the tribe and society’s framework because of fear of being rejected. You loose so much when you are rejected from society, you may loose your life in some cases if you were a woman. If you try to break loose, you become alienated from the culture and society you were brought up in. It is not an easy step to make; there is no turning back once you’ve made that step especially if you were a woman. Men have a leeway somehow, society is always forgiving when it comes to man but for women, they would rather stone her than embrace her in many cases!

Segregation creates a large gap between man and woman in this society, neither have a full understanding of the other nor do they know what to expect from one another and that gives birth to a mystification around the sexes. These two gender groups will not find a common ground unless the wall between them is shattered. This society is crippled; it is limping on one leg while the other atrophies from lack of use. It will fall one day if we do not strengthen the other leg and put it in good use for the society to stand with both feet on the ground.

But in preservation of certain traditions of the past without questioning our selves, we actually retard our own growth and development. Instead of holding on to meaningless traditions that keep us stuck in the past we should actually dig in to them deeper and ask why? and find out if certain traditions are actually in use for us today or not! If not then I would say bye bye and good riddance! Although for some I am sure we can acknowledge that this past paved the way for today and we are here to continue the task of progress and pave the way for the next generation and make them understand that what we hand them are values to keep and use in their own journey..

One of the traditions that comes to mind is preserving the head dress that men wear here in Saudi Arabia for instance the *GUTRA/shmagh* (that is just an example, I really don’t have anything against them. I actually think they make some men look better since gutras/shmagh hide their baldness)
It is believed that gutra (piece of cloth that covers the head) was used long ago by men to shield their faces and eyes from the dessert sand and strong sun BUT each culture wears a different color or has it on in a different way. Although it is said that colors were added to the shmagh by the British army to differentiate which tribe they were dealing with. I bet you most of the people wearing these red and white gutras/shmagh do not know that they were actually introduced by the British in the first place!

I will leave you with a story I read in one of Paulo Coelho’s books that really rang a bell!

A great zen master in charge of a monastery owned a cat he adored and kept with him. The monk would give meditation classes while the cat sat next to him. Where ever he went, what ever he did, the cat was there.. That Zen master passed away and the cat still attended meditation classes. After a while, the cat passed a way too but the student of that zen master got so used to a cat being around the monastery that he decided to get one to sit in his meditation classes while he taught. Cats became part of Zen buddhism in that area.

A whole generation passed, a cat always attended Zen Buddhist classes.. Books were written on how presence of cats were important for better meditation.

Cats were part of Zen meditation until one day a wise Zen master was allergic to cats and decided to have classes without a cat around! Buddhists were alarmed but because of his known wisdom, many students still attended with him..
Later they found out that the presence or absence of a cat did nothing to their meditation classes. Only after that little incidence, the school of thought of Zen Buddhist meditation WITHOUT a cat was established!

It took them over a hundred years to realize that a cat had no effect what so ever on their meditations!

I wonder how many traditions we acquired and still practice today that have no actual relevance and was initiated due to mere coincidences? think about it..

In such a strict culture as the one we have in Saudi Arabia, it is very difficult for women to celebrate this event openly without being attacked by the conservative religious group who mostly believe that women should not set a foot outside their door steps without a male guardian in the first place.

Yesterday, a friend and I went to the book fair that is held in the capital Riyadh for about ten days. This annual fair sells thousands of books from religious, historic, scientific, legal, medical,children… to uncensored Arabic novels, and that is why there is a very large number of people who are interested in these books and buying them.

There are days and times set for men only and other times for families (men and women). My friend and I made sure it was a family day and headed to the fair. Upon entering the building, a man with a long beard was standing in front of the entrance making sure that no single man entered the building since it was a day for families only! My friend and I looked around and saw about 95% of the women had not only head covers but face covers as well..

My friend and I headed to a specific section where uncensored books were for sale, the place was packed with men and women. As I was browsing through some books, I heard a man next to me repeating under his breath (astagfor Allah) meaning Oh Allah I repent.. he was asking for forgiveness for being so close to two ladies who didn’t cover their faces, that being my friend and I!
I got annoyed at his attitude and pointed out not so kindly that if he didn’t like being in a place surrounded by us women he should leave and visit the fair on the day scheduled for men! No one forced him to come in the first place and if his wife did, then he can wait for her in the parking lot like a good boy..

This man and many like him do this when talking or dealing with strange women (non relatives), I have dealt with several in my work. I usually discard this attitude of attempting to belittle me, since a woman is looked upon as something filthy, dirty and an object of pleasure for men to own and possess. I don’t know why I am becoming sensitive all the sudden to such actions.. I am fed up with such insults I guess!

I was having a conversation with myself on this day ”international women’s day” and was debating if we Saudi women actually deserved such a day! I was looking at it in terms of us not progressing much then I realized that we are constantly comparing ourselves to everyone around us and that is unfair to our own achievements! I am sure we have progressed although it does seem like tiny little steps compared to other middle eastern countries even.

Our country is holding on to certain traditions as if it’s hanging on for dear life, and many of us are pulling at roots that are so thick and embedded so deep in us that it is almost impossible to just extract. I see many who want to discard it the easy way by chopping at the thick trunk of these traditions not knowing that the roots are still embedded there.. they might still grow with the least amount of water. I would rather invite friends who share the passion and interest I have in this unique event, hand each one a shovel then unite our strengths to dig all around the tree to find its core.. roots.. then loosen it up. It will take more effort, patience and time.. Once I feel the ground loose around this thick, heavy and ugly tree, I will embrace it. I might even shed a tear not knowing if it’s for the pains I suffered because of its sharp thorns that pierced through my skin so many times reminding me with each scar of my womanhood, the shame in being a woman or a tear for so many women who moved on to be buried under the ground after they have been buried when they were above it; without having the chance to witness such a bright day where women embrace and are actually proud of their womanhood!

Now.. Does being mannish relate in any way to Saudi Arabia? Or is mentioning Saudi Arabia in every statement that associate demeaning and degrading women a norm these days!

Let me go back a bit through feminism history in the west and America to explain that women had to look like men to be taken seriously not too long ago, so as not to be perceived as sexual objects. And from what I gather, some women like Senator Clinton believe this is applied still in the 21st century, not in Saudi Arabia but in the United States of America!

Feminism became an organized movement in the 19th century as people increasingly came to believe that women were being treated unfairly. (So as you can see, women were dehumanized and marginalized in the west before the feminist movement). The utopian socialist Charles Fourier coined the word feminisme in 1837. As early as 1808, he argued that the extension of women’s rights was the general principle of all social progress.

In the nineteenth century, concerns were all linked by a single element: clothing, which accentuated, reinforced, and promoted gender difference. Fashion determined that the female image should have aesthetic sensibility, physical delicacy, and womanly grace. These qualities had negative consequences for women who wished to vote, obtain higher education, or work. Aesthetic sensibility translated into a preoccupation with silly frills, and other non-essentials, it lead to the view of women as light-minded creatures.. (Just a reminder, women were perceived this way in the WEST).

Women’s physical delicacy, a myth due in part to the physical constraints of women’s fashion by forcing women’s bodies into unnatural contours, corsets often caused the uterus to prolapse. This complaint became so common that “pessaries” (a device to hold internal organs in place) became a regular yet unmentionable fashion accessory. Additionally, corsets not only forced ribs to grow directly into the lungs, but also weakened the spine preventing any sort of strenuous activity, physical or mental and was used as an argument against female higher education. Imagine that!

Of course, without advanced training, women were effectively barred from any lucrative profession. Fashion forced women to remain in the domestic sphere, the ideal frame for their natural grace and moral superiority. It is no wonder that feminists such as Annie Denton Cridge argued for dress reform which blurred gender difference; it was the first step toward increased political, educational, and occupational opportunity for women.

Proper young girls remained inside homes sewing or playing with dolls, while young men were free to engage in physical activity and play outdoors. Proper young ladies were trained to enjoy “feminine” pursuits to help them acquire a husband and the financial security he would bring.

Women had to be frightened away from specific medical training or any training which could draw them away from domestic work. This need to keep women in the home generated article after article, and book after book, all proving *scientifically* that female education was directly linked to female illness. Dr. Clarke noted cases of young women who graduated from school or college with undeveloped ovaries. Later they became sterile ! gynecologists such as Dr. William Goodell stated definitively that “female boarding schools and public schools … breed a host of sickly girls” plagued by “manifold diseases, both functional and structural” including “neuralgic pains,” “irregular menstruation,” “spinal irritation, irritable bladder, painful ovaries, and various pelvic aches and congestions”. The famed neurologist S. Weir Mitchell argued that intellectual work is “dangerous” for women, “sexually incapacitative to a varying amount,” and the cause of “hysteria, or hysterical hypochondriasis”. Sir James Crichton Browne declared in the medical journal Lancet that education causes women’s brains to consume themselves, resulting in “nervous disturbances, insomnia, anaemia . . . general delicacy,” and “anorexia scholastica”.

Women also such as Miss M. A. Hardaker, argued in 1882 that since the male brain is larger than that of the female, one can establish “an exact correspondence between brain-substance and intelligence,” since “in the case of every other organ of the body we know there is an ascertainable correspondence between size and condition, and the amount of work that an organ can do”. Just as larger heart will pump more blood than a small one, a larger brain will pump more intelligence. Eliza Lynn Linton pointed out that education took both a moral and physical toll on women: it not only made women “arrogant, pretentious and vain” “It ruined them for pregnancy, lactation, and child rearing”. She condemns the young intellectual woman who selfishly risks her reproductive organs.

The desire to educate or support oneself was not a noble effort, but an indication of hormonal deficiency. Either one was a “womanly” woman, whose happy ovaries generated a healthy maternal urge; or an unnatural “mannish” female, whose natural instincts had been perverted into a craving for “public applause, an audience, excitement, notoriety”. Lacking the warm love and validation provided by a husband and children, such failed women could only hope to be “lecturers, professors, entitled to wear gowns and hoods, and put letters after their names”. They are more to be pitied than despised, since their personal ambition exposes their deficiency of womanly grace and force.

That is how women were perceived in America in the 19th century. Women then have gone through the 1st, 2nd and 3rd wave feminism since the 1800s to the 1990s to reach where they have today, and yet some still worry that they look too feminine to be taken seriously!

Give us Saudi’s a break.. we women have only just started to go to schools in 1964! We still have a long way to go but we are heading towards the right direction.
A note to remember, Women were never perceived as a lesser being than man in Islam unlike some other cultures.

The other video is called, Saudi princess on women’s rights. It is an interview done on women breast cancer awareness week in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia in last October 2007. This interview was with princess Loulwa Al-Faisal who is known as a crusade for women’s education and philanthropy.
She has been speaking publicly about Saudi women’s rights in the last few years and has been very active in support of the Saudi business woman.

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3764580

The victim was punished for violating Saudi Arabia’s laws on segregation that forbid unrelated men and women from associating with each other. She was initially sentenced to 90 lashes for being in the car of a strange man as was mentioned in the BBC. The attackers’ sentence was one to five years in prison each.

On appeal, the Arab News reported that the punishment was not reduced but increased to 200 lashes and a six-month prison sentence for the victim. As if she wasn’t punished enough!
The rapists’ sentence was also doubled.. meaning a two to ten years in prison!

Now.. This sentencing really shocked me *although I should be used to such absurdity by now!* Isn’t it enough that this poor girl had to go through psychological trauma, physical abuse plus becoming socially outcasted and alienated for being in the wrong place at the wrong time ?
This girl’s life is destroyed in such a society where it is easier for people to point fingers at the female rather than use common sence! A woman is being blamed for being RAPED. Is there no justice for women in this country?

I am writing this in disbelief. I am sorry if I am repeating my self BUT we are punishing a young girl for sitting in a car with a stranger (non-related man)! Is it mentioned anywhere in Islam that a woman be punished for such thing? If so then they should punish most Saudi women because we all sit in our little cars with strange men driving us (drivers)!

Why are people punished? one may ask.

Deterrence is a very common reason given for why someone should be punished. It is often believed that punishment, especially if made known to or even witnessed by the punishee’s peers, can also deter them from committing similarly punishable offences, and thus serves a greater good preventively.
Deterrence which means dissuading someone from future wrongdoing, by making the punishment severe enough that the benefit gained from the offense is outweighed by the cost (and probability) of the punishment. It is calculated based on the gravity of the wrong done.

Let’s just assume that she should be punished for being with a man (although such thought is so hard to comprehend) Don’t you think what she went through is enough to punish her for the rest of her life? MY GOD.. I truly pray justice is met one day for her and many women like her.

A note before ending this .. Did someone mention we had Human Rights here? Hmmm..I thought so!

On a sunny Thursday afternoon Sarah who is a 30 plus young lady went out to the supermarket to buy a few things. While she was walking along the isle she slipped on a waxed cardboard left due to negligence on the supermarket floor. She fell on her back hitting her head to the ground causing her to lose consciousness for a few seconds. Oh.. I forgot to mention that this little incident happened in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia just in case you were wondering..

Now going back to the story.. As Sarah was regaining consciousness.. She overheard a woman bystander arguing with the supermarket manager as she was being wheeled out of the supermarket. The lady was asking the manager to call for paramedics for help. The manager explained to the woman that he CAN’T, it is not accepted for paramedics to drive a SINGLE woman without a male guardian (Sarah being a woman alone). The lady offered to take Sarah to the closest emergency room. Sarah thanked her politely and left on her own driven by her own chauffeur to the hospital emergency where she was diagnosed with a concussion, two hairline fractures in her vertebra and a fractured finger. She has been put to bed rest for a couple of weeks and might need surgery to correct a fracture.
The interesting bit in this story is that:
PARAMEDICS DO NOT TAKE WOMEN WHO ARE NOT ACCOMPANIED BY THEIR GUARDIANS IN AN EMERGENCY!!

(They are worried that an injured/dying woman might seduce the paramedics, they would rather she lay there and die.. than be alone with health care providers who can save her life or not to be over dramatic.. prevent further pain and discomfort)

In comparison.. I thought I should mention this story (true story from a local news-paper)
A Saudi woman living in Geneva, Switzerland was cooking lunch in her apartment. She heard some cooing sound outside her kitchen window. She looked out and saw a pigeon trapped on her window railing. She tried to help it but couldn’t. After a few moments of hesitation she decided to call for help. A FEW MINUTES later rescuers from the fire department and the animal shelter came to set that bird free..

The End

I would rather be a bird in Switzerland than a woman in Saudi Arabia.. Don’t you think Swiss birds might have more rights than Saudi women?

Because of segregation between men and women in the kingdom either at work or homes sometimes, it has been known that upon building one’s home, a front door is created for men and a side (back door) for women to prevent them from mingling!

Some homes have two living rooms built in, one for men and another for the ladies. Restaurants, even if for takeaway usually have two entrances, one for single men and another for families or sometimes ladies only.

I don’t mind this all… what actually annoys me is that men usually get the grand surroundings while women have to go through the back shaggy settings as if women were second class citizens.

I am not just mentioning aesthetics or appearances.. rather the whole package when it comes to women seems to be treated like something of less importance.

If one visits King Saud University campus for girls in Riyadh and compares it to the boy’s University, one would know exactly what I mean. I have seen girls taking classes in buildings that might crumble at any minute!

As I visited the holy mosque in Mecca, I was shocked to see that a very small area was restricted for women to pray while the rest was strictly for men. The whole of the 3rd floor was for men only. Praying areas for women occupied about 1/4th of the space there.. and they keep telling us that women are out numbering men!! hmmm.. doesn’t make sense.. does it?

To start this little trip of ours, since I live in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. My brother and I had to take an early plane from Riyadh to Jeddah then a car from Jeddah to Mecca. As we got closer to the holy mosque in Mecca we became more silent and there was a stillness in the air we both identified as a feeling of tranquility and serinity.
It is an overwhelming experience watching thousands and thousands of people, men and women who have travelled from distant and different parts of the world to kneel upon God ”Allah” in prayer. All united for one cause, it is not political nor social but it is a symbol of peace, meditation and soul searching..

People from different backgrounds, cultures, social levels and even languages gathered in one place in remembrance of God, they took time out of this fast paced life to ask for forgiveness, pray for a loved one, a sick person or just pray, reflect and meditate.. all were gathered on one ground because of their faith and belief in one God.. one Allah..

I watched many break down in tears upon praying.. It is extremely powerful to see such serinity and hope in God. Times like this makes one reflect about life and death, how helpless we actually are, what we have accomplished and what we would like to achieve before taking our last breaths in this amazing adventure of a world. This experience might be a reminder for some to be better, do the best one can.. It might have no effect what so ever on many..

The setbacks of this little adventure was that it was a bit hard to reflect and meditate with thousands of people around.. it was very hard to find a spot to just sit and pray. I overheard some ladies bickering over who takes a spot as I prayed.. Many were sleeping on the grounds maybe after a long day’s trip or just so as not to loose that space.. There was some shoving and pulling due to the enormous number of people around. We finished our Omra, prayed and left so that others can take our place. I just wish that some can be as considerate.. Give chance for others to pray..

Banning women from driving comes from strict interpretations of many Saudi scholars that women must be accompanied by a legal guardian (Mahrem) when ever in public.

When you actually look at the closer picture, women are not always accompanied by their male guardians rather they are mostly driven by foreign hired male drivers that take them from one place to another.
So, in the end women do interact with unrelated men. Don’t you think this actually defies the purpose?

The issue of women driving was raised in the early 90’s when several professional and academic Saudi women drove in the streets of Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. It was taboo then and the reaction by society and the government was harsh.

Since then, the issue has been raised only in the last few years by the media, newspapers and liberals within the Saudi society. King Abdullah mentioned previously that banning women from driving is not a political issue, it is a social one, and that the government does not object to it. A high rank government official has also stated that society is the obstacle that stands in the way of women driving in this country. Once society accepts the idea, Saudi women will be able to take this step.

A petition was made by a group of Saudi women who formed a society just recently that calls itself “The Society for Protecting and Defending Women’s Rights”. They are demanding the right for women to drive in Saudi Arabia. This petition will be presented to King Abdullah on Saudi National Day on the 23rd of September.

Has the time come for Saudi women to drive at last? Who would have thought a question like this would be asked in the 21st century when other women have already traveled to the moon!

So hijab or a head scarf is actually enforced upon women in this country although many women cover up willingly and acceptingly as part of their faith. Now that I have mentioned that, Saudi women outside Saudi soil have the freedom to choose whether to wear a head scarf or not!

It is interesting to see that many women decide to keep hijab but for other reasons, rather than it being part of religion and faith, they wear hijab to be accepted, to fit in and to find a future husband and get married.. So there are massive social rather than religious pressures on women to wear hijab!

A woman covering her hair with a scarf is considered more virtuous than a woman without! Even if she did that for very superficial reasons.. this is how society judges sometimes. Rather than judging people for their good deeds they are being judged on their appearances.
An example on that is a woman wearing hijab but have no Islamic or moral code of conduct in day to day life. That I would think is a façade and a big fat lie..

Now that some women wear hijab for social rather than religious intentions you can see how hijab is being misused. I see women with full makeup or having tight clothing that cover but actually reveal more.. and they call themselves hijabis. I am not here to judge anyone.. I am only pointing out how society manages to manipulate people into abusing Islam in a way..

I ‘d rather think that a person/woman should be more honest with herself and the people around her. Choosing to wear hijab is a personal and spiritual decision that a woman should make acceptingly as part of her faith and her relationship with God and not because societies pressures..

Here’s a little a bout Barcelona.. the city I fell in love with..

Barcelona is the capital and most populous city of Catalonia and the second largest city in Spain, it is a major economic centre, with one of Europe’s principal Mediterranean ports.

Barcelona has a rich history, it was founded around 230 BC, most likely by the Carthaginians but invaded several times over the centuries. Barcelona faced a devastating plague and the annexation of the kingdom by the Castilian state which refused to allow its people to share in the huge wealth pouring in from the Americas in the 15th century.

Barcelona finally fell in 1714 at the end of the 13-year War of the Spanish Succession. The Catalans were duly punished for having sided with Britain and Austria against Felipe V, the French contender for the Spanish throne. Felipe banned the Catalan language.
In the mid-19th century, poets and writers led a crusade to revive the Catalan culture and language which by that time were in danger of extinction you can click here to know more about it’s history.

The success of the 1992 Olympics brought world attention and acclaim to Barcelona which earned a reputation not only as Spain’s most exciting city but also as one of the most happening places to be on the entire planet.

This city was home to many artists and architects such as Antoni Gaudi. Pablo Picasso arrived in the city in 1894, there is a very popular Picasso museum located in the Gothic Quarter that houses an extensive collections of his artworks.

La Rambla’s is one of the main streets tourists visit which is located by the Gothic Quarter with it’s tiny streets, small shops, cafes and restaurants.. Upon walking in these narrowing streets between those high stone walls you can almost sence and touch what these walls witnessed throughout these centuries.

If you do ever decide to visit this city in the summer, I thought I should warn you of naked old men walking around the streets of Barcelona!
(I have encountered more than 2 in my short stay)

Here are some photos I took..

The writer, Rajaa Al-Sanie had to publish the book in Beirut two years ago since it was banned from Saudi Arabia. The book is considered by many to be the Saudi version of the HBO series “Sex & The City, it addresses behaviors of four young Saudi women that revolt at the conservative social life in the Kingdom and go against the norms promoted by Saudi society by addressing love and relationships outside the traditional framework, racism, homosexuality, sex and divorce. As such, the book was considered taboo and was officially banned in the country but was and is still widely available.

Al-Sanie even faced a lawsuit that a group of Saudi citizens filed against her for so called slandering Saudi society last year.

Interestingly, many Saudi women started writing and publishing books as was mentioned by Reuters, it is said that Saudi Arabia’s literary output doubled in 2006, with half of the authors being women. She is considered a pioneer in that field, she was able to publish her book in her early twenties.

This video is in Arabic but is has subtitles in English..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i18NUMSOR5c

The fatwa said that liberal in this context meant “freedom which is not subject to the bounds of sharia (Islamic law) and which rejects sharia laws, especially concerning women…”.

My God.. as if we need such a statement that will yet create a bigger gap between the majority whom are the religious extremists and the liberals in Saudi Arabia. Such statement suggests liberals are not real Muslims and is a clear implication of violence against them, at least this is how some extremists see it!
I have been checking a few web-sites on the subject, to my surprise (me being so gullible) I found many who have been just waiting for the green light to attack!

As you might have noticed, women issues are the focus of such debates! women rights=infidels!

Many liberals feared their lives after hearing this statement which forced Al-Fozan to clarify his fatwa in Al-Riyadh local Saudi newspaper.

This is part of the article by Reuters on the subject

Fozan was recently forced to issue a clarification in Saudi newspaper al-Riyadh after Islamists hailed the fatwa as a declaration that liberals are infidels. He said pronouncing someone an infidel was a separate issue in Islamic law.

Such declarations, called takfeer in Arabic, are sensitive because al Qaeda militants fighting U.S.-allied governments in Saudi Arabia, Iraq and elsewhere in the region use the idea to justify their campaign of jihad, or holy war.

“Radicals say ‘Sheikh Fozan has issued the fatwa and we should act accordingly’, which is a little alarming,” said Hamza Mozainy, a well-known critic of the Saudi system, referring to Islamist Web sites that welcomed the fatwa.

Novelist Turki al-Hamad, a long-time target of Saudi Islamists, also said the fatwa could lead to violence.

“Even if his (Fozan) intention is not calling for violence, the implication is violence,” Hamad said.

Saudi Arabia’s religious establishment has for long focussed its attention on the word “secular”, which most Saudi reformers now avoid, but “liberal” has gained currency in its place.

Liberal and Islamist reformers both call for parliamentary elections limiting the desert country’s absolute monarchy.

But many liberals also want to see clerical influence rolled back, with, for example, Saudi Arabia’s religious police force disbanded and an end to strict gender segregation.

“When they hear ‘liberalism’ they perceive it as a form of moral corruption. They don’t know it’s a whole philosophy concerning freedom of the individual,” Hamad said.

“These fatwas are a kind of defense mechanism against this spreading idea.”

Ahmed is an employee in an investment bank, this old man has been his client for over a year now. The old man has always been fond of Ahmed for guiding and helping him out. His thank you gift to Ahmed is his daughter.

This act is not very common here in Saudi Arabia but it still happens among some Bedouins and tribes. A woman is perceived as an object or a trophy, she is handed over from one man to another as a gift. Many would question if this actually still happens at this time and age, and I will tell you yes it still does and it’s considered an act of kindness and generosity.

The story I just mentioned is based on real incidents that happened not too long ago to a friend of mine, he was able to get out of it, thank god.
The problem many women face here is the lack of awareness of their own rights which makes them so vulnerable to such maltreatment and suppression, but let’s face it, even if a woman knows her full rights without the support of her family, she has no where to go.