The Chief Editor of Radijojo World Children’s Radio Network in Berlin; an international NGO dedicated to use media with and for children as a tool for intercultural dialogue, participation, children’s rights and global learning decided to work with Mideast Youth on an intercultural project. They were having a Radijojo radio Workshop about the relationship between Germany and the Arab countries. The Chief Editor; Malte Heidemann contacted Mideast Youth Director Esra’a and myself after reading a poem I posted on this site earlier this year called “In the Moment” to include it in this intercultural project. Fourteen year old students from Flatow Secondary School in Berlin recited and worked on translating the poem written by a Saudi female (myself) from English language to German so that other German children can relate and understand the poem. I was excited and delighted to see the photographs of these youngsters as they were reciting my little poem and listening to their podcast was really touching. Radijojo and the children involved sent the recitation of the poem to Mideast Youth as a gift.

This lovely gift and the whole idea behind this workshop is to build bridges between diverse cultures, religions, between East and West at a very simple yet important level. Youths I think are the future, and if we start building such positive relationships between them putting aside all our differences and rather focusing on the essence and qualities our cultures have, then imagine the richness these youngsters obtain. Such actions pave way for solid grounds for further interfaith and intercultural activities between the youth. I think such interactions and achievements ought to be recognized and very well supported. I also would like to thank both Malte Heidemann and Esra’a for creating such platform for youths and for all the children’s efforts.

Here is the link to the podcast and photos of the workshop on Radijojo World Children’s Radio Network.

It is only in the late hours of the night
That I learn more about my sentience
I am aware of my true existence
Those lonely hours with no friend in sight
My only companions are myself and I
I am many yet all in one

I am a soul, mind and body
I lose who I am at times with the chaos of life
It is only in the late hours of the night
Where there is no sound but the beating of my heart
And the swelling of my lungs as air is taken in and out
It is only then three thirds of me transpire

The spiritual

The spiritual lays within me; he connects me to a higher being; God
He takes third of my being; he can take over at times of grace
Through him I realize my berth in this massive universe
A sand grain amongst endless dunes of Sahara desserts
An atom amongst infinite stars and galaxies
A thread of silk in the midst of endless silk cocoons
Through him I learned humility and love
He bonds me to an infinite greater truth
A truth that cannot be seen but is felt
Years of dormant senses are awakened to believe
To a higher level of consciousness I achieve
As the other two in me lay down in sweet sleep

The mind

He is my second third
The mind is a marvelous part of me
He is a maze I go astray in many times
He keeps me on my toes with his wonderful crazy thoughts
Through him I can knit a quilt of endless sleepless dreams
In contemplation I can touch my dreams
If he is given more than third of me
He would not hesitate to conquer me
He is a pillar in mankind’s survival
He is the tool through him we learned and developed
He has taken us to the moon and beyond
To the atom and the cell
Through him we heal, fly and light up the darkness of our skies
Through him we were able to plot, kill and destroy
Yes the mind was able to conquer all
Only when he was given permission to take over all of our beings
Never forget he is only third, never to conquer all

The body

Oh the body the vehicle of all..
She is the third of all three but never the least
Through her all thoughts and feelings from mind and spirit are conveyed
She deciphers all signals to a language one can apprehend
A smile from her can brighten one’s day
A touch from her can stop the throbbing pain
She transports love from a look of an eye to an embrace
Through her she senses beauty all around
And aches with throbbing tearing pain
For she is powerful and ever so beautiful
Endless portrayals of her marvel have been seen
Throughout history, countless artists and poets have described
For the body they became intoxicated and bewildered
For her beauty many have lost their lives
For her strengths many were greedy for more
She has conquered all and will go on doing so many times
Time is always her worst enemy when she conquers all
For time will teach her what true worth is
She is my tool to express love, beauty and pain
But she is never all

All of my thirds never cease to grow
The spiritual can never be close enough
For he seeks humility and love throughout his being

The awakened mind is always hungry for more
He befriends wisdom as he matures and grows

The body, my daily tool
She starts off as weakness and grows into strength
She ends in weakness as a reminder of what she truly is

These are my thirds that lay within
These are the mains of what my life’s aims
Each one stays in his and her designated space
One might take charge in times of need
But the rest are prepared for their times indeed
The spiritual, mind and body
I find myself in three..

As I walk in the journey of life

I come across God’s wondrous beings

At times I would rest for a while

Only to enjoy the beauty of beings

I would contemplate the blessings I have

And whisper grace to God for all his givings..

I learned many things from only seeing..

I learned that to tear a flower from her intimate haven

Only allows me to enjoy her momentarily..

For her place is among the endless fields

Where I can observe her true beauty as the wind touches her body

She dances a harmonized coordinated dance with all other blossoms

I can only observe in silenced awe at the creator’s reverence

I carry on in the journey ahead and bid farewell to the dancing blossoms

For I know I shall brush against God’s allure again in his wondrous livings

Paths cross in the journey of life

And that is the essence of being

But never forget we always must part

And that is the anguish of being human

We draw in the core of beings who joined us in our path

Their true essence never cease.. for we capture them in our spirits

Never forget these are the foundations of living

For you are the only pilgrim walking in your path

Enjoy the entwining of paths while it lasts

For if you don’t enjoy the moment

You will wish you had when there is no turning back

With no regrets look ahead and be aware of paths that cross

For there is always beauty in God’s beings

That is what every little six year old girl dreams of; it’s finding her knight in shining armor! Then reality does this magical disappearing act of such dreams. When things do not go right or as we had dreamed in fairy tales we fall apart because we were not prepared. I don’t believe I am a pessimist rather I would say realistic in my thinking. I don’t believe that a person ought to wait for something to go wrong rather live the moment and enjoy it to the fullest and be prepared for mishaps, it’s a part of life.

In a culture where I come from many girls were prepped into marriage and the responsibilities that come with it from a very young age, from taking care of your husband and fulfilling his every need to cooking, child birth and raising your children. It is interesting how they seem to have disregarded her own needs.

In devoting yourself to your husband you are worshiping God! That is what many have been taught. Don’t get me wrong. I do believe that love is a mutual act that is shared by mates with all that comes with it from respect to sacrifices. However, here we have a giving party and a recipient. The giver is supposed to give even if the recipient does not exchange love, respect and so on.

Women are expected to grant all they are unconditionally even if man remarries or commits adultery! She ought to be patient and continue on giving even if she is abused mentally, emotionally or physically! This is how culture raises women. Through endurance in this life time with what man offers her she seeks salvation in the afterlife. So many women put up with so much for the sake of their children as well.

Women are unfortunate and very weak legally when it comes to their children after a divorce. At a certain age of about seven to nine years a child most likely returns to his father if the dad wished so. The father has the power to forbid the children from ever seeing their mother! Even if he passes away, his brother takes over. It is interesting how the mother has no right what so ever over her own children whom she carried in her womb after she breaks up with her husband.

She can’t enroll them in schools without the father’s approval. She can’t admit them in case of an emergency in a hospital without his presence or signed consent. A mother can’t open a bank account for her own children where I come from.

The Prophet mentioned that heaven lies beneath mother’s feet. This is a clear statement showing the importance of mothers in Islam. He had stated that you will not be able to enter the heavens unless you have done well with your mother. The prophet even mentioned that the importance of a mother is three times the father. This doesn’t seem to be taken to account in our culture.
There have been reports of fathers marrying their young daughters to much older men and it was surprising to see that mothers had no saying in that what so ever. They could not prevent or even speak out in a court of law because they were not LEGAL GUARDIANS!
However, there have been very few cases where such marriages were annulled due to pressures from the media.

There is an alarming rise in divorce rates in Saudi Arabia, however life for single mothers in this country is far from easy. Not only does society look at her differently but an accusing finger is also pointed at her for failing, for not playing her part right, for not taking adultery or abuse with its many forms like a “woman “ought to! (Don’t get me wrong, women can be the cause of many failed marriages as well, some marriages fail because of mismatches…etc) however, women pay the price in the end. They lose so much in a divorce, they usually are the ones who leave their homes and move back to their parent’s or into a new place after all the years of emotional, physical and financial investments they put up in their previous broken homes. Unlike men who get a pat on the back and offers of renewing their bed partner (They even use this same phrase with a man who has just become widowed).

It is much easier for men to move on after divorce but women deal with the children, tiptoeing on eggshells and playing their cards right so as not to lose them. A woman thinks a hundred times before remarrying because if the children were still with her, she would lose custody of them the moment she remarries!

As a single mother I understand what other moms go through. After starting a small support group I have been approached by several ladies who feel caged by society, some misfortunate ladies were abused and had their children taken away from them. It is so hard to imagine that the legal system and society watches silently and approvingly of such cruelty.

These heroines must know they are not alone in this. They must not feel defeated by culture. Praying for change is not enough but actively creating it is the way.. Even if they were tiny little steps.. Speak out.. There might be someone out there who is actually listening..

The King reshuffled many of the ministers and changed the makeup of an influential body of religious scholars known as the Grand Ulama Commission. Its 21 members will now represent all branches of Sunni Islam that are more moderate, instead of the single strict Hanbali (Wahabi) sect that has always governed it. This comes after the King promoted moderation and interfaith dialogue in the last year.
Abdul-Aziz bin Humain who is believed to be more moderate than his predecessor will replace Sheik Ibrahim al-Ghaith as head of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice, which runs the religious police that have been criticized so much by the media for their extremism and harshness.
“We will try to be close to the heart of every citizen. Their concerns are ours,” Humain told Al Arabiya satellite news channel yesterday.

The king also removed Sheik Saleh al-Lihedan, chief of the kingdom’s Supreme Council of Justice. Al-Lihedan issued a fatwa in September saying it was permitted to kill the owners of satellite TV stations that were immoral!
Sheik Al-Lihedan, had held his post since the mid 1980s, he had been a major stumbling block for the judicial reforms King Abdullah had hoped for and planned to enact. He was replaced by Saleh bin Humaid, who served as the head of the Consultative Council.

The king has had reforming the judiciary system-which has been supported by forceful extremist clerics implementing Islamic law- as one of his top priorities. Judges currently have complete discretion in issuing sentences as they see fit, except in cases where Islamic law outlines a punishment, such as capital crimes. The latest is the judge who married a little girl to an older man in his late fifties which was criticized by the media in the last few months..

One of the major changes done by the king was in the Ministry of Education; which was also lead by extremists since it was established. The king appointed his son-in law Prince Faisal bin Abdullah as education minister.
Education was believed to be one of the main causes of extremism in the country. The school curriculums were highly criticized especially after the events of 9/11 due to some radical contents which were reviewed.

Last but not least, Noura Al-Fayez, an official at the Saudi Institute for Public Administration, was elevated to the new post of deputy minister of women’s education; the first time a woman has been appointed a deputy minister in the history of this country. Al-Fayez’s appointment appeared to be the king’s response to increased lobbying from women’s rights groups against discrimination.

Other changes have been done in several ministries and hopefully this will be a turning point for this country. However, actual changes do not happen overnight. yet this is a step in the right direction I believe and I hope to see the fruits of all positive changes in my lifetime ..

In an ultra conservative country such as Saudi Arabia, an all female rock band is not exactly the norm! These four college students were brave enough to follow their dreams and stand against the tides of a society that is hardly forgiving to such taboos.

Here is an article about them in The New York Times and you can listen to their song on myspace
I was actually surprised when I heard their music, they are talented.

These girls live in Jeddah, which is known to have a much more relaxed atmosphere than other parts of the kingdom. There are more and more male bands and concerts playing openly for the public, and you can even notice that there is less segregation between the genders in restaurants and shopping malls.
I have visited Jeddah a few weeks back. It really felt as if I had entered another country! People are much more relaxed and women can actually be comfortable in their own skin! unlike other areas of Saudi Arabia where women are made to feel awkward just by their mere presence in public.
But still, an all girls rock band does break so many social chains even in Jeddah. They won’t be able to perform in public unless they do private parties or for all girls only. None the less , their music is being heard and downloaded from inside and outside the kingdom.

I am excited to see such talents from our youths and I look forward to listening to more of their music. I do hope they will be given the chance to continue what they just started.

The government has increased its budget on education and have opened the doors for young girls and boys and sent them on scholarships in both Europe and the United States in different fields of specialty so as to come back highly qualified with fresh, enthusiastic attitudes and outlooks not forgetting of course that the majority of the Saudi population is below the age of twenty!
This all looks good, it seems like there is a light at the end of the tunnel right?!
I question sometimes if there will ever be a candle at the end of this Saudi tunnel!
While all this is in preparation phase, where the outcome, the collection of the fruit of such investments might take another five to ten years, we see the total extreme opposite!

Only recently one cleric stated that women ought to cover the whole body leaving only one eye unveiled! Yes, we super species called women are created by Allah (God) to be invisible. We don’t need two eyes like you men and yes we can see clearly using our one eye super optical vision! Not only that but our super powers can accommodate not breathing fresh air, yes we can breath perfectly through layers of cloth! Our respiratory tract is much too sophisticated and advanced! Our skin should never be exposed to the sun either, not forgetting that women have the power to bring pleasure to men and have the courage to reproduce over and over again. It seems that women love pain, all sorts of pain! Physical, mental and emotional. Yes they are such unique creatures!!
I’ll stop with the sarcasm, but I can’t help it! (I think this cleric and many like him who believe that they are treating women justly should try a taste of their own medicine. I’ll give them less than a week to live out how they think women ought to be. I assure you it will be a life changing experience!)
On a more serious note, let me just add that women in the middle east suffer more from vitamin D deficiency and osteoporosis and one of the main causes is the lack of exposing their bodies to the sun although we do have the hottest climate. I will not go through this issue but my only reply would be that perceiving women as sex objects and only that is the cause behind men wanting to hide women away whether by locking them up in their homes or behind such suffocating veils. This is a serious problem that must be addressed to change and reshape societies and their outlook towards both genders, we need to set new realistic expectations and standards for both genders.

I don’t know if you heard about the Mickey mouse must die fatwa by a well known cleric here in Saudi Arabia! It is soo funny that one can actually cry!
Here is the link (you can watch the video and read the translation)

Here is a summery “mice are Satan’s soldiers” I will not comment on this one. There is nothing I can say! NOTHING..

Another of these fatwas is what sheikh Alhedan, a very prominent Saudi judge who called for the murder of satellite channel owners last Ramadan for broadcasting immoral programmes! And guess who the owners of these satellite channels are? (Saudi princes and the elites of Saudi society!)
This is an article in the guardian about it.

King Abdullah didn’t seem too pleased by Alhedan’s statement; you can actually watch the video of Alhedan shaking hands with the king in Eid al Fotur (the celebration of the end of the fasting month of Ramadan) where the king who is usually very tactful pulled away while shaking hands. But I really expected an apology at least! That’s what I call power.

One calls for the one eyed veil to hide women from men’s uncontrollable animal like lust instead of controlling the lust itself, the other for the killing of mickey mouse (my son will be heart broken if he finds out) and the last for the killing of satellite t.v owners! and yet we talk about reform. I just don’t see it happening, it’s just like mixing water with oil, they can never mix.

I will leave you with that for now.

I noticed that in these few weeks the thought of my gender haven’t crossed my mind; not even once! yet the moment I walked out of the plane coming back home, reality hit me and slapped me hard in the face. I am a woman in Saudi Arabia. The passport control officer hardly looked or talked to me making me feel filthy. At that moment I whispered under my breath welcome back home Rasha!

I didn’t want to read the local news in the first days of me being back, me not wanting to erase what’s left of euphoria I felt from my trip, I rather preferred living in denial for a while. Although following the news between Russia and Georgia had already crushed that euphoric feeling! A few days passed then I decided to face reality as it is and come down from cloud nine and rub my face in the dirt!

I specifically looked for news that relate to the softer gender here in Saudi Arabia and not to my shock I found a handful!
A forty something year old woman in Qaseem (one of the most conservative areas of the kingdom) was arrested for driving. A woman was forcefully divorced from her husband by relatives who went to court and forced her father and husband to sign the divorce papers and why one may ask? yes.. the stupidity again, he was from a tribe of “lesser origin”!

I read several articles about old men marrying young girls either in their early teens or children who haven’t even reached their teenage years. These stories disgusted me. I put the blame on the families/fathers that sell their daughters in such a manner and on the person/sheikh who legalized these marriages. Thank God at least Alobeikan (a leading cleric here in the Kingdom) denounced one of these marriages and ordered for the prosecution of the father.
A legal age ought to be set for marriage for both girls and boys. This is unacceptable and I hope it is being looked into.

An article also discussed all the rights that divorced mothers didn’t have over their children… So what’s new!

A friend of mine had attended a discussion with a scholar and it was interesting to note that the scholar mentioned that a good Muslim woman’s reward in the after life is by being a maiden for the good men in heaven and this ought to be her utmost aspiration. Going to heaven is one of my own aspirations but to be reduced into a sex object for men’s pleasure is not something I would be looking forward to. I would actually rather be sitting on a cloud bored to death than be rewarded by such heaven!

I looked it up and I found similar results. One scholar even mentioned that men are lustful while women aren’t and that is why men were promised virgins in heaven while women were promised beauty because females liked looking pretty! I thought that was demeaning and reducing women to being bubble brains not only in this life but in the heavens as well!

Not forgetting to mention that women have been considered as the devil’s intermediaries and the cause of spread of corruption on so many occasions and in several religions. Some go as far as condemning all women for every sin in the same manner that Eve was condemned for seducing Adam into eating the forbidden fruit! A woman leaving her home going about her business is considered evil by some clerics while the man who is “seduced” by her mere presence is the innocent bystander who’s ”genetics” are responsible for his ensuing sexual behaviors!!!

One scholar even mentioned that a good woman who dies while married will be married to her husband in heaven, a woman who dies single will be rewarded by being given to a new husband in heaven, a woman who had several husbands during her life will be married to the last one she was with in heaven. I could only think of one phrase ” I hope women are allowed to divorce their husbands in heaven!” What if she hated her husband during her life, poor thing, does she have to stand him in heaven too? It seemed bleak to me, too bleak to imagine such a wise merciful God would do that.

I can’t imagine a woman who has a minimum self esteem and self respect can look forward to such a heaven where she has been reduced yet again to a mere object of pleasure for man?! A heaven that is an absolute segment of a sexually oriented male imagination.

A woman has been raised to believe that in being a servant and a sexual pleasure for her husband she is a servant of God and that is the road to heaven.

By now I am positive that you realize that I have left cloud nine far behind and have immersed in my reality yet there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.. but oh my this is going to be a very long one!

I believe there is a plan for this country to reform but it seems like it will take forever if we wait for rigid mindsets that are inherited from one generation to the next to change! And how is it supposed to change if there is no implementation of change from within the country?

It is interesting though to note that king Abdullah is spending much more on education and sending Saudi students from both genders on scholarships than ever in the kingdom’s past years for the sake of bringing back a young hard working generation, with fresh minds that might open the doors to a more tolerant country.
In 2003, Saudi Arabia had only 8 universities that catered for about 22 million people but several universities and colleges opened since king Abdullah was handed the throne only three years ago. There is a plan to open one of the strongest universities in the region in the western province of the kingdom. It is said that it will be detached and free from any of society’s rigid ideologies!

I read a few days ago that new traffic laws have been released here in Saudi Arabia advocating for more strict laws and regulations, but what I found interesting is the removal of the gender male from these laws as Al-Bishr director general of Saudi traffic department stated in a press conference ” The new law speaks only about driver of the vehicle, and there is no specification of either man or woman. As far as driving of women are concerned, we are not bothering about it,” he said.
And here is an article about it.

Some say that stricter rules pave the way for women driving in the near future. This came at a time when three women drove separately in the kingdom in the last week.
A young twenty something year old girl in Riyadh who passed away due to an accident early last week and another lady from Jeddah who was arrested and a 69 year old lady from Hail who passed away yesterday due to an accident that took place with a 14 year old boy !

Another interesting piece of news is that there is a new law that will omit tribe names from passports and identification cards and that is to lessen tribalism between people.
I don’t believe that this alone will ever work on a tribal based society where such beliefs are engraved in people’s minds, knowing that it defies Islam’s ideologies and teachings in the first place.
Islam clearly stated that there is no difference between an Arab and a non-Arab and the only difference between people is righteousness. Not forgetting that Islam was first introduced to a tribal/Arabic society. But we decided to carry pre-Islamic ignorant beliefs instead!
On that subject, let me remind you of the judge “a man of God” who divorced a married couple from each other by force after years of marriage and having children for tribal issues a short while ago.

On a happier note, for the first time in the history of Taif which is a city located on the mountains of the western province of Saudi Arabia, women will be allowed into king Fahad’s football stadium to attend the summer festival there (women will be seated in the ladies section so as not to mix with men of course! But at least it is a step).

But on the other hand, the ministry of health stated that women working in hospitals are working amongst men so they must wear proper hijab and should not apply any makeup at work. It also stated that women are only allowed to wear white long skirts or white trousers underneath their closed white coats!
There has been an acceptance for Saudi women working in hospitals which is a mixed environment (where men and women work together) in the last ten years or so and this statement treats women like school girls and takes us a couple of steps back.
By such a statement, they were able to reduce all these female doctors, scientists, nurses and technicians to a piece of flesh!

This has been an eventful week but the changes I see are more like a yoyo. I try to balance my self on this shaky ground. I worry one day that this surface might just collapse.. I would like to see my self and other women standing stable on solid grounds but we must hang on and be patient, what else can we do?!

mental prison

male vs female

Relationships, what is vs. should be!

tumbled thoughts!

It is interesting how society managed to change its perspective on women. Women in Islam have always been out there in the forefront right next to man; she joined him in battles, tutored men and women alike, teaching and reciting Quran and Hadeeth. Women owned their businesses back in the old days, many used to buy and sell side by side with their fellow men. Women married themselves and had the freedom to choose suitable husbands or suitors without tribal and nationality restrictions that we witness today.

Society was able to reduce woman from being a whole person with an independent mind, thoughts, feelings and social roles to an object of pleasure. Because of that she is now hidden away from fear of male predators that eat away at her bare flesh with their lustful gaze! They stripped her bare from what ever humanity she had. A woman in some countries of the gulf is a mere shadow.. She is black..

I was observing people walking up and down the corridor outside the office I was working in (it being in a public place) and all I could see was either black or white. It doesn’t take a genius to know that men wear white robes (thob) and women wrap themselves in black here in Saudi Arabia.
If you take the symbolic meanings of the two colors chosen for men and women in this country; white meaning pure and good while on the other hand black meaning evil which incidentally also absorbs the heat from the scorching hot sun of Saudi Arabia where the temperature reaches 50 degrees centigrade in the summer, that makes one wonder if the choice was purely coincidence.

It actually saddens me to see women trailing along walking behind men literally covered up from head to toe to the extent that many even wear black gloves and thick black stockings to make sure that no lustful eye could sneak a peak at a female toe or a finger which might switch on a sexual signal/desire from the other sex God forbid!

It makes me sick to see a woman having her 15 year old son as a guardian as if she was mentally ill or what is worse is watching a young boy who can hardly see the road ahead from the steering wheel due to his young age yet driving the family car with the backseats stacked with women and children because a woman is perceived as an object not a mind or a decision maker. A child can drive in this country but oh no not a woman!

A woman has become so much of a sex object that if a home was broken into and the male guardian wasn’t around; police officers would not enter that home nor speak to women residents in fear of being alone with the opposite sex! God forbid an officer might get seduced in the presence of women but it is alright to leave them in harm’s way!
The mindset is the same even in a mixed environment workplace. If a woman is bold enough to work among men then she must be easy. If a woman uncovers her face or hair then she must be asking for trouble and deserves whatever harassment she gets!

I wrote once before about the ambulance refusing to take women in need of emergency medical services without their male guardians! Caution to all women out there, you are not allowed to have an accident or a stroke or..or..or.. Without your male guardian! He has to be around in case you decide to seduce your rescuer while fighting for your own life!

It is also common here to wish a widowed man who just lost his wife to renew his bed partner! Showing no respect what so ever for the deceased wife, on the other hand if a woman is widowed; society would not easily accept her remarrying! How could she renew her bed partner and shamefully disrespect her deceased husband years after his death?!

It also saddens me to see that society was able to reduce man to a semi animal with no self control what so ever although he was able in the past to treat a woman as a peer, a partner, a teacher and a fellow human.

I don’t believe Islam intended for a woman to become such a dependent second class shadow! She definitely played many important roles in society in the past and earned respect from both genders yet now she is not even acknowledged as a whole entity rather she is handed down from man to man like a piece of furniture!

We must acknowledge the existence of both men and women’s sexualities, it is part of the human structure but it’s not all there is.. It is easy to say that we can change societies, educate and provide awareness programs for both genders but the initial step would be to acknowledge this problem and I still don’t think society realizes that a problem actually exists!

This is a photo of a Saudi woman from Hail in Saudi Arabia called Fatema who ruled Hail from 1911-1914 (the good all days when Saudi *Muslim* women were perceived somehow as equals to men!)

I remember reading about her and visiting her site “Heaven’s Steps” (http://hdeel.ws/blog) several months back. I was even more impressed by her when I learned that she gave a lecture at the women’s section of the Riyadh Literary Club calling on women to start their own blogs to help influence public policy and opinion.

Here is an article on ArabNews about her.

She is a loss to her family, friends for sure and to many people who followed her blogs without personally knowing her.. May she rest in peace.

I was shocked when I read the news of his sentence. I am actually shocked that it went to court, for God’s sake the man was having a cup of coffee with a woman in a public place. The victim (and yes I believe both he and the lady are victims in all of this) teaches psychology at the University of Mecca in Saudi Arabia.

How can drinking coffee be a crime? Not only that but the punishment itself be so harsh! Don’t these people (meaning the religious police known as the Commission for Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice) who arrested him have anything better to do than harass and attack innocent people? Aren’t there any real criminals to catch?

I have been thinking all day about this man, how he must feel, the humiliation.. not only that but the pain he and his family must be going through for having a cup of coffee with a lady.

These religious police are blinded by their own ignorance, they attack innocent people in the name of religion “Islam” yet their Islam in my opinion is so far from the truth. Even Allah in the Quran warned the prophet against being rude and ill mannered when dealing with people:

(It was mercy from GOD that you became compassionate towards them. Had you been harsh and mean-hearted, they would have abandoned you. Therefore, you shall pardon them and ask forgiveness for them, and consult them. Once you make a decision, carry out your plan, and trust in GOD. GOD loves those who trust in Him.)

Let us take a thoughtful moment upon reading this verse, Quran was saying that the prophet-hood of Mohamed with all its significance, magnitude and value would be jeopardized if he were ill mannered and it is a clear indicator of the value of leniency, compassion and forgiveness of Islam.

‘Saudi Arabia should stop needlessly persecuting people like this — we want to see a complete end to people in the kingdom being punished for ‘khilwa’ offences,’ Amnesty said.

“Khilwa” is when a man and an unrelated woman spend time together alone just the two of them behind closed doors such as a room with the door shut where sexual conduct might take place. The accusation of “khilwa” here is wrong in the first place so this is a different ball game all together. They were having coffee in a public place among people and I did emphasize the word MIGHT take place because as we know, not every man and woman sitting in one room have sex and in the second place, “Khilwa” is considered in some Islamic traditions as a door to committing a sin but there was never any Islamic text that set a punishment for anyone who is in “khilwa” but some judges consider it a matter to their own discretion or choice.

Why don’t they arrest salesmen working in shops for selling to women next? Or arresting and prosecuting male doctors for treating females?

Why don’t they just build a wall across the country and call it the wall of Saudia and split the country in two halfs?! one half is basically all female cities and the other is all men!
No worries.. I am sure they will make space for a procreation area between the two for couples to meet then go back to their designated place! At least women will regain their independence when they rule their half..
Actually.. come to think of it.. They would rather be tortured than see the day where women are empowered! That explains why this plan hasn’t taken place!

Gender segregation to this extreme creates an imbalanced and crippled society. It is so against nature to divide a society to this extreme and so unfair to punish and humiliate innocent people the way they have.

If you look closely you will find women in hospitals and shops but they are hidden. Walking shadows is all you could see. They blame how women cover up from head to toe on religion but it is not so. Religion suggested that women be modest in the way they dress. The explanation may look simple in that being man has power and woman has none, so woman is being controlled and brain washed by the superior man. But it is actually more complex in reality.

Man in a society such as that in Saudi Arabia perceives woman as a sex object and a baby making machine, she is not looked upon as an equal or a human being that has the same rights as he has. He sees her as someone who is weak, a secondary citizen and one who is incapable of making any decisions regarding herself or anyone else for that matter, and that is why he feels he has the right over her, him thinking he knows better! And actually believing so!

Man feels he owns and possesses woman, may it be his daughter, wife, sister or even mother. And because he only sees an object of pleasure in a woman he believes every other man sees the same so that is why he tries to cover her up from head to toe.

So man believes he has a right over her life, choices she makes, if she could get an education or not, if she could work or not, who to marry, how many children to have, how to educate them, not only that but man gives permission to a woman to have a medical procedure done or not, and his presence is needed upon her discharge from a hospital! I believe this is too harsh.. I don’t think a minor should be treated the way women are in such a country.
It is interesting to note that women have half the amount of compensation that a man has, for instance if a woman had a medico legal problem such as removing the wrong kidney! She would be compensated half of what the man is given! Is my kidney less valuable than a man’s I wonder? Is my life not worth living free? Is this how we are perceived? Half a man’s worth? I guess we are not so far off from the old days when they used to bury girls alive before Islam.

This society doesn’t comprehend that this woman is an equal to man with a mind to think, make decisions for her and others; she is not less of a human or a partner in life, she has proven when given the chance of being more superior to man in the work field. But she is always confined by man and that is why her progress is slow and self esteem low. She is not given full authority in a position; rather a man has to be the one making the decisions. Some women are highly qualified but report to a junior just because he was born a man.

The Arab/Saudi man wants to erase woman’s existence out side his own confinement not only by hiding her behind black sheets but her name is considered a taboo as well. Boys are ashamed when their friends in school know their mother’s name. A female’s name shouldn’t be mentioned among the male.
A couple having a new born boy would be called (abo/om folan) meaning the mother/father of the boy’s name but if the child was a girl they wouldn’t want to be associated with her name.

Isn’t it wonderful to be a man in Saudi Arabia? the sky is your limits but for a woman, your home is your limits!

Some western cultures perceive women as the Saudi man does. You will see the same is being done but in a different way. The female is being brain washed by man and society without her even realizing that she is also being perceived as a sex object.
Some cultures exploit women instead of covering them up from head to toe in the name of equality and freedom of the softer sex.
Permit me to just touch on the matter of porn industry and how it is blooming in many countries. It is interesting how it is looked at as an art to exploit women in such a manner.
Man benefits in both cases but society is unstable in both scenarios as well.

The Saudi social structure, it being a tribal society makes it even more rigid and almost impossible for man and woman to reform. They feel obligated to move within the confinement of the tribe and society’s framework because of fear of being rejected. You loose so much when you are rejected from society, you may loose your life in some cases if you were a woman. If you try to break loose, you become alienated from the culture and society you were brought up in. It is not an easy step to make; there is no turning back once you’ve made that step especially if you were a woman. Men have a leeway somehow, society is always forgiving when it comes to man but for women, they would rather stone her than embrace her in many cases!

Segregation creates a large gap between man and woman in this society, neither have a full understanding of the other nor do they know what to expect from one another and that gives birth to a mystification around the sexes. These two gender groups will not find a common ground unless the wall between them is shattered. This society is crippled; it is limping on one leg while the other atrophies from lack of use. It will fall one day if we do not strengthen the other leg and put it in good use for the society to stand with both feet on the ground.

But in preservation of certain traditions of the past without questioning our selves, we actually retard our own growth and development. Instead of holding on to meaningless traditions that keep us stuck in the past we should actually dig in to them deeper and ask why? and find out if certain traditions are actually in use for us today or not! If not then I would say bye bye and good riddance! Although for some I am sure we can acknowledge that this past paved the way for today and we are here to continue the task of progress and pave the way for the next generation and make them understand that what we hand them are values to keep and use in their own journey..

One of the traditions that comes to mind is preserving the head dress that men wear here in Saudi Arabia for instance the *GUTRA/shmagh* (that is just an example, I really don’t have anything against them. I actually think they make some men look better since gutras/shmagh hide their baldness)
It is believed that gutra (piece of cloth that covers the head) was used long ago by men to shield their faces and eyes from the dessert sand and strong sun BUT each culture wears a different color or has it on in a different way. Although it is said that colors were added to the shmagh by the British army to differentiate which tribe they were dealing with. I bet you most of the people wearing these red and white gutras/shmagh do not know that they were actually introduced by the British in the first place!

I will leave you with a story I read in one of Paulo Coelho’s books that really rang a bell!

A great zen master in charge of a monastery owned a cat he adored and kept with him. The monk would give meditation classes while the cat sat next to him. Where ever he went, what ever he did, the cat was there.. That Zen master passed away and the cat still attended meditation classes. After a while, the cat passed a way too but the student of that zen master got so used to a cat being around the monastery that he decided to get one to sit in his meditation classes while he taught. Cats became part of Zen buddhism in that area.

A whole generation passed, a cat always attended Zen Buddhist classes.. Books were written on how presence of cats were important for better meditation.

Cats were part of Zen meditation until one day a wise Zen master was allergic to cats and decided to have classes without a cat around! Buddhists were alarmed but because of his known wisdom, many students still attended with him..
Later they found out that the presence or absence of a cat did nothing to their meditation classes. Only after that little incidence, the school of thought of Zen Buddhist meditation WITHOUT a cat was established!

It took them over a hundred years to realize that a cat had no effect what so ever on their meditations!

I wonder how many traditions we acquired and still practice today that have no actual relevance and was initiated due to mere coincidences? think about it..

In such a strict culture as the one we have in Saudi Arabia, it is very difficult for women to celebrate this event openly without being attacked by the conservative religious group who mostly believe that women should not set a foot outside their door steps without a male guardian in the first place.

Yesterday, a friend and I went to the book fair that is held in the capital Riyadh for about ten days. This annual fair sells thousands of books from religious, historic, scientific, legal, medical,children… to uncensored Arabic novels, and that is why there is a very large number of people who are interested in these books and buying them.

There are days and times set for men only and other times for families (men and women). My friend and I made sure it was a family day and headed to the fair. Upon entering the building, a man with a long beard was standing in front of the entrance making sure that no single man entered the building since it was a day for families only! My friend and I looked around and saw about 95% of the women had not only head covers but face covers as well..

My friend and I headed to a specific section where uncensored books were for sale, the place was packed with men and women. As I was browsing through some books, I heard a man next to me repeating under his breath (astagfor Allah) meaning Oh Allah I repent.. he was asking for forgiveness for being so close to two ladies who didn’t cover their faces, that being my friend and I!
I got annoyed at his attitude and pointed out not so kindly that if he didn’t like being in a place surrounded by us women he should leave and visit the fair on the day scheduled for men! No one forced him to come in the first place and if his wife did, then he can wait for her in the parking lot like a good boy..

This man and many like him do this when talking or dealing with strange women (non relatives), I have dealt with several in my work. I usually discard this attitude of attempting to belittle me, since a woman is looked upon as something filthy, dirty and an object of pleasure for men to own and possess. I don’t know why I am becoming sensitive all the sudden to such actions.. I am fed up with such insults I guess!

I was having a conversation with myself on this day ”international women’s day” and was debating if we Saudi women actually deserved such a day! I was looking at it in terms of us not progressing much then I realized that we are constantly comparing ourselves to everyone around us and that is unfair to our own achievements! I am sure we have progressed although it does seem like tiny little steps compared to other middle eastern countries even.

Our country is holding on to certain traditions as if it’s hanging on for dear life, and many of us are pulling at roots that are so thick and embedded so deep in us that it is almost impossible to just extract. I see many who want to discard it the easy way by chopping at the thick trunk of these traditions not knowing that the roots are still embedded there.. they might still grow with the least amount of water. I would rather invite friends who share the passion and interest I have in this unique event, hand each one a shovel then unite our strengths to dig all around the tree to find its core.. roots.. then loosen it up. It will take more effort, patience and time.. Once I feel the ground loose around this thick, heavy and ugly tree, I will embrace it. I might even shed a tear not knowing if it’s for the pains I suffered because of its sharp thorns that pierced through my skin so many times reminding me with each scar of my womanhood, the shame in being a woman or a tear for so many women who moved on to be buried under the ground after they have been buried when they were above it; without having the chance to witness such a bright day where women embrace and are actually proud of their womanhood!

Now.. Does being mannish relate in any way to Saudi Arabia? Or is mentioning Saudi Arabia in every statement that associate demeaning and degrading women a norm these days!

Let me go back a bit through feminism history in the west and America to explain that women had to look like men to be taken seriously not too long ago, so as not to be perceived as sexual objects. And from what I gather, some women like Senator Clinton believe this is applied still in the 21st century, not in Saudi Arabia but in the United States of America!

Feminism became an organized movement in the 19th century as people increasingly came to believe that women were being treated unfairly. (So as you can see, women were dehumanized and marginalized in the west before the feminist movement). The utopian socialist Charles Fourier coined the word feminisme in 1837. As early as 1808, he argued that the extension of women’s rights was the general principle of all social progress.

In the nineteenth century, concerns were all linked by a single element: clothing, which accentuated, reinforced, and promoted gender difference. Fashion determined that the female image should have aesthetic sensibility, physical delicacy, and womanly grace. These qualities had negative consequences for women who wished to vote, obtain higher education, or work. Aesthetic sensibility translated into a preoccupation with silly frills, and other non-essentials, it lead to the view of women as light-minded creatures.. (Just a reminder, women were perceived this way in the WEST).

Women’s physical delicacy, a myth due in part to the physical constraints of women’s fashion by forcing women’s bodies into unnatural contours, corsets often caused the uterus to prolapse. This complaint became so common that “pessaries” (a device to hold internal organs in place) became a regular yet unmentionable fashion accessory. Additionally, corsets not only forced ribs to grow directly into the lungs, but also weakened the spine preventing any sort of strenuous activity, physical or mental and was used as an argument against female higher education. Imagine that!

Of course, without advanced training, women were effectively barred from any lucrative profession. Fashion forced women to remain in the domestic sphere, the ideal frame for their natural grace and moral superiority. It is no wonder that feminists such as Annie Denton Cridge argued for dress reform which blurred gender difference; it was the first step toward increased political, educational, and occupational opportunity for women.

Proper young girls remained inside homes sewing or playing with dolls, while young men were free to engage in physical activity and play outdoors. Proper young ladies were trained to enjoy “feminine” pursuits to help them acquire a husband and the financial security he would bring.

Women had to be frightened away from specific medical training or any training which could draw them away from domestic work. This need to keep women in the home generated article after article, and book after book, all proving *scientifically* that female education was directly linked to female illness. Dr. Clarke noted cases of young women who graduated from school or college with undeveloped ovaries. Later they became sterile ! gynecologists such as Dr. William Goodell stated definitively that “female boarding schools and public schools … breed a host of sickly girls” plagued by “manifold diseases, both functional and structural” including “neuralgic pains,” “irregular menstruation,” “spinal irritation, irritable bladder, painful ovaries, and various pelvic aches and congestions”. The famed neurologist S. Weir Mitchell argued that intellectual work is “dangerous” for women, “sexually incapacitative to a varying amount,” and the cause of “hysteria, or hysterical hypochondriasis”. Sir James Crichton Browne declared in the medical journal Lancet that education causes women’s brains to consume themselves, resulting in “nervous disturbances, insomnia, anaemia . . . general delicacy,” and “anorexia scholastica”.

Women also such as Miss M. A. Hardaker, argued in 1882 that since the male brain is larger than that of the female, one can establish “an exact correspondence between brain-substance and intelligence,” since “in the case of every other organ of the body we know there is an ascertainable correspondence between size and condition, and the amount of work that an organ can do”. Just as larger heart will pump more blood than a small one, a larger brain will pump more intelligence. Eliza Lynn Linton pointed out that education took both a moral and physical toll on women: it not only made women “arrogant, pretentious and vain” “It ruined them for pregnancy, lactation, and child rearing”. She condemns the young intellectual woman who selfishly risks her reproductive organs.

The desire to educate or support oneself was not a noble effort, but an indication of hormonal deficiency. Either one was a “womanly” woman, whose happy ovaries generated a healthy maternal urge; or an unnatural “mannish” female, whose natural instincts had been perverted into a craving for “public applause, an audience, excitement, notoriety”. Lacking the warm love and validation provided by a husband and children, such failed women could only hope to be “lecturers, professors, entitled to wear gowns and hoods, and put letters after their names”. They are more to be pitied than despised, since their personal ambition exposes their deficiency of womanly grace and force.

That is how women were perceived in America in the 19th century. Women then have gone through the 1st, 2nd and 3rd wave feminism since the 1800s to the 1990s to reach where they have today, and yet some still worry that they look too feminine to be taken seriously!

Give us Saudi’s a break.. we women have only just started to go to schools in 1964! We still have a long way to go but we are heading towards the right direction.
A note to remember, Women were never perceived as a lesser being than man in Islam unlike some other cultures.

The other video is called, Saudi princess on women’s rights. It is an interview done on women breast cancer awareness week in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia in last October 2007. This interview was with princess Loulwa Al-Faisal who is known as a crusade for women’s education and philanthropy.
She has been speaking publicly about Saudi women’s rights in the last few years and has been very active in support of the Saudi business woman.

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3764580

The victim was punished for violating Saudi Arabia’s laws on segregation that forbid unrelated men and women from associating with each other. She was initially sentenced to 90 lashes for being in the car of a strange man as was mentioned in the BBC. The attackers’ sentence was one to five years in prison each.

On appeal, the Arab News reported that the punishment was not reduced but increased to 200 lashes and a six-month prison sentence for the victim. As if she wasn’t punished enough!
The rapists’ sentence was also doubled.. meaning a two to ten years in prison!

Now.. This sentencing really shocked me *although I should be used to such absurdity by now!* Isn’t it enough that this poor girl had to go through psychological trauma, physical abuse plus becoming socially outcasted and alienated for being in the wrong place at the wrong time ?
This girl’s life is destroyed in such a society where it is easier for people to point fingers at the female rather than use common sence! A woman is being blamed for being RAPED. Is there no justice for women in this country?

I am writing this in disbelief. I am sorry if I am repeating my self BUT we are punishing a young girl for sitting in a car with a stranger (non-related man)! Is it mentioned anywhere in Islam that a woman be punished for such thing? If so then they should punish most Saudi women because we all sit in our little cars with strange men driving us (drivers)!

Why are people punished? one may ask.

Deterrence is a very common reason given for why someone should be punished. It is often believed that punishment, especially if made known to or even witnessed by the punishee’s peers, can also deter them from committing similarly punishable offences, and thus serves a greater good preventively.
Deterrence which means dissuading someone from future wrongdoing, by making the punishment severe enough that the benefit gained from the offense is outweighed by the cost (and probability) of the punishment. It is calculated based on the gravity of the wrong done.

Let’s just assume that she should be punished for being with a man (although such thought is so hard to comprehend) Don’t you think what she went through is enough to punish her for the rest of her life? MY GOD.. I truly pray justice is met one day for her and many women like her.

A note before ending this .. Did someone mention we had Human Rights here? Hmmm..I thought so!

On a sunny Thursday afternoon Sarah who is a 30 plus young lady went out to the supermarket to buy a few things. While she was walking along the isle she slipped on a waxed cardboard left due to negligence on the supermarket floor. She fell on her back hitting her head to the ground causing her to lose consciousness for a few seconds. Oh.. I forgot to mention that this little incident happened in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia just in case you were wondering..

Now going back to the story.. As Sarah was regaining consciousness.. She overheard a woman bystander arguing with the supermarket manager as she was being wheeled out of the supermarket. The lady was asking the manager to call for paramedics for help. The manager explained to the woman that he CAN’T, it is not accepted for paramedics to drive a SINGLE woman without a male guardian (Sarah being a woman alone). The lady offered to take Sarah to the closest emergency room. Sarah thanked her politely and left on her own driven by her own chauffeur to the hospital emergency where she was diagnosed with a concussion, two hairline fractures in her vertebra and a fractured finger. She has been put to bed rest for a couple of weeks and might need surgery to correct a fracture.
The interesting bit in this story is that:
PARAMEDICS DO NOT TAKE WOMEN WHO ARE NOT ACCOMPANIED BY THEIR GUARDIANS IN AN EMERGENCY!!

(They are worried that an injured/dying woman might seduce the paramedics, they would rather she lay there and die.. than be alone with health care providers who can save her life or not to be over dramatic.. prevent further pain and discomfort)

In comparison.. I thought I should mention this story (true story from a local news-paper)
A Saudi woman living in Geneva, Switzerland was cooking lunch in her apartment. She heard some cooing sound outside her kitchen window. She looked out and saw a pigeon trapped on her window railing. She tried to help it but couldn’t. After a few moments of hesitation she decided to call for help. A FEW MINUTES later rescuers from the fire department and the animal shelter came to set that bird free..

The End

I would rather be a bird in Switzerland than a woman in Saudi Arabia.. Don’t you think Swiss birds might have more rights than Saudi women?

Because of segregation between men and women in the kingdom either at work or homes sometimes, it has been known that upon building one’s home, a front door is created for men and a side (back door) for women to prevent them from mingling!

Some homes have two living rooms built in, one for men and another for the ladies. Restaurants, even if for takeaway usually have two entrances, one for single men and another for families or sometimes ladies only.

I don’t mind this all… what actually annoys me is that men usually get the grand surroundings while women have to go through the back shaggy settings as if women were second class citizens.

I am not just mentioning aesthetics or appearances.. rather the whole package when it comes to women seems to be treated like something of less importance.

If one visits King Saud University campus for girls in Riyadh and compares it to the boy’s University, one would know exactly what I mean. I have seen girls taking classes in buildings that might crumble at any minute!

As I visited the holy mosque in Mecca, I was shocked to see that a very small area was restricted for women to pray while the rest was strictly for men. The whole of the 3rd floor was for men only. Praying areas for women occupied about 1/4th of the space there.. and they keep telling us that women are out numbering men!! hmmm.. doesn’t make sense.. does it?