Its time to make our dreams come true,
Hold my hand baby and let us flew,
Don’t go away I will fix everything as dew,
Hold my hand and let us merge in the view,

I am still standing where you adieu,
It’s a feeling like pain from hew,
My everything goes dark and blue,
But still I have nothing meant to argue,

Blurring mirror, distinct shadow and all these gaps,
Will make our love and lives soon to elapse,
Follow my footsteps and come back, baby come back,
Before my heart collapse, before my world collapse,

I myself was not so good at Arabic in school and like other guys always thought what the benefit of learning Arabic is. That is a big question that always stuck in students’ brains. The system justifies that “it’s the Quranic language and we as Muslims should know it”, and sometimes they exaggerate its importance as the most important international language. But it’s always the case: students don’t like it.

I, myself as an Iranian student learnt Arabic and passed it in school and also university (it is also obligatory at universities). I always tried to translate stories, hadith or quranic verses into Persian in my exams, and I was not so bad at it. But the interesting thing that I always never thought about was that if someday my words be translated into Arabic!!!

I should thank Ahmed Zidan, my sweet friend and editor-in-chief of MidEastYouth Arabic, who spent his valuable time to translate one of my articles that has been published on MEY in English. When I was at school, really never thought one day my words be translated to Arabic and I’m thankful to Ahmed for letting me have this awesome experience; Thanks you Ahmed.

The article is an criticism on story of Joseph and Zulaikh!

The English article: part one and two.
And thanks to Ahmed, the Arabic version of article is now available

A Police Officer approaches them. A familiar scenario is as follows.

The officer asks the boy, “Excuse me, what is your relationship with the lady?”

The boy replies, “We are engaged,” such a common answer.

“Are the family of the lady aware of this?”

“No. I’m just trying to find out whether or not she is the one.”

“Please call the family of the lady to come here to learn about your relationship, or we’ll bring you two to the police station.”

In most of the cases, the two are not formally engaged but friends. And in Iran, where girls and boys are separated from an early age, the young would not seek for a ‘simple’ friendship. They wanna be intimate friends. They want to experience something they’ve been long denied.
With a large number of the single having a friend of the opposite gender, this practice is becoming more usual day in day out, especially in metropolitan areas. Even many middle- and upper-class parents feel that a friendship of this type might be acceptable should the two seek for a long-term relationship probably leading to the marriage. And if the two don’t cross some certain redlines (i.e. no consummation before formal marriage), more parents may welcome their friendship.

Investigating the cause, statistics come to join natural inclination as the compound reason explaining a growingly observable social trend. Iran is of a surprisingly young population, almost half of which are 30 years old or younger. And the average age of marriage is going up. According to Parliament Research Center, marriage age is 29 and 28 years for the boys and the girls, respectively. So, who waits +28 years to have his/her first experience of the opposite gender?

Where the young find each other doesn’t matter that much. It might be a chat room where young Iranians seek for friends of the opposite gender and exchange numbers. Or just in the streets with the common form being the boy giving a free ride to the waiting girl. Or in the university. Or in a simple party. Or in friendship circles. Or in subway with exchanging looks and blinks. Or in the workplace.

What matters the most is that they used to hesitate to make their secret public because neither the former generation nor the formal regulations would approve it. According to the old tradition and state-run culture, it shall be either formal marriage or nothing. And for the young generation, the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

Change, however, is happening as a growing number of the young publicly declare they have a girl- or boy-friend. While a not-formally-married couple would have been isolated in the past and might prefer not to appear in the public, now they can easily find similar couples (as well as public acceptance) and engage in various social efforts, ranging from spending a few hours in café or parks to going on a vacation together.

The trend is so meaningful that even the mainstream media can’t ignore it anymore. In parallel with the facts on the ground, The Distance, a drama aired by Iranian state TV, crosses former red lines and portrays a boy, Saeid, son of a veteran and devout Muslim, who meets a pretty girl in the workplace and befriends her. As opposed to old customs, the fact that some relatives or friends may see them together doesn’t frighten him. Their defiance culminates when his uncle (also a religious figure) asks him who the girl is, and he insolently, and even proudly, maintains: “she is my girlfriend.”[1]

Not surprisingly, the story line of The Distance tries to discourage such friendships. It goes on to provide more details about personal life of Saeid’s girlfriend, Bitaa. Her father had been found guilty in a murder trial and sentenced to death. Bitaa should gather US$ 60,000 to pay the family of the murdered so as to save her father’s life. Since she has got no good-paying job, her last resort is to befriend men, old and young, and try to either steal some money from them or blackmail them. Saeid’s father follows Bitaa and learns about her indecent behavior. He first tries to aggressively discourage his son from befriending Bitaa. However, his efforts were fruitless because his son was in love with Bitaa. Then, he tries to be patient and let his son find out the truth. His patience finally pays off and the morale of the story is established: street friendships are bound to fail.

That drama offers an almost unique story. Parents’ patience in The Distance helped them maintain and strengthen traditional norms. However, in real life, society’s patience may work in the opposite direction because not all the girls/boys who befriend someone of the opposite gender are indecent ones. In fact, many of the young boys and girls form sincere relationships. And in the long run, people may come to believe that such friendships should be not only accepted, but also supported and encouraged.

Besides statistics and street evidences, there is another meaningful argument indicating that such friendships are becoming quite normal in Iran. A few months ago, there were rumors that a new department called Relationship Police was to be tasked with patrolling streets and public places and taking into custody or penalizing not-formally-married couples. Subsequently, in a TV interview, Ahmadinejad firmly decried this act [2]. His stance faced harsh criticism of clergies and hardliners. However, he reemphasized his position. Ahmadinejad, as a populist president sticking to power no matter what, knows that swimming against the current is a grave mistake. And, in this case, he sided with the people, I believe.

[1] This translation may be disputed. The original dialogue is “she is my friend.” However, as noted earlier, a simple boy-girl friendship is almost meaningless in Iranian culture, and a female/male friend usually means a girlfriend/boyfriend.

[2] He was quoted as saying: “to stop a girl and boy in the street and investigate their relationship is really hideous. Their relationship is none of your business.”

Moving past the hysteria the press caused about the issue, there are two points of contention I’d like to discuss.

In Saudi Arabia, women aren’t allowed to be in the company of men who aren’t their direct relatives. Any such vile, loose woman who dare utter a word to, or mingle with the ‘superior sex’ could face up to years of imprisonment and public flogging.
I don’t condone this. In fact, I absolutely abhor the extremities the Commission to Promote Virtue and Prevent Vice (the religious police) go to to impose Quranic law.

Yet, the Saudi Arabian princess and her ‘lover,’ to whom she was unmarried (shock, horror) got away unscathed in such a high profile incident. Had this been anyone else, their fate would have been radically different.

Understandable, you might say, that these events took place on foreign soil is why no-body’s making a hue and cry about it back home. Also, one might argue that as a princess, she has diplomatic immunity against such cases.

Which brings me to the second point.

The somewhat archaic, or at least irrelevant interpretation of Sharia law postulates that everyone is equal – not that equality is archaic, but that the institution of theocracy is.
If that were the case, then Sharia law would apply to everyone, regardless of social status.
This begs the question as to whether the Saudi Arabian royalty, who are the self proclaimed keepers of the Islamic faith actually follow the law which adheres so strictly to that very faith.

She shouldn’t have to (and probably won’t) meet with the same fate that several others before her have. I believe no-one should. What I’m contesting, though, is the fallacy of the system that allows some to get away with things that often others are killed for.

Keep in mind that most of what’s in the podcast is a result of our observations and personal opinions. Regardless of whether or not you agree, we urge you to keep the conversation respectful.

I’m not a girl, nor a relationship expert. But I know the different chemistry of affections in two genders of male and female. These are different. Women can’t fall in love instantly and become insane by just seeing a male! It’s not important how beautiful he may be, but that’s not the way a woman falls in love. Maybe she likes his beauty and confirms it in an instant observation, but cant becomes spelled and so much fascinated, falling in love.

This love (by observation) just exists in male gender. We all know many stories about men who are fascinated in a woman instantly by observation and they crash the car, bang to the wall, fall in canal and can’t help themselves. If you’re a male, there’s no usage for more explanation. For example listen to James Blunt great song ‘You’re Beautiful’, which describes a particular falling in love situation: seeing a beautiful woman in street with his man passing by and falling in love with her!

It’s hard to believe for a woman to conceive that many women in this story have fallen in love in this manner (if you’re a man, you can’t understand it, so don’t dispute). These attractions work just for men whom are evolutionary, physiologically and psychologically different.
Then one may conclude this story (Joseph and Zulaikha) has been written by a male or who hasn’t been aware of female psychology! What do you think?

I am copying the links to the stories here so that we can all take a look in both English and Arabic. Arabic versions are here. Feel free to discuss!

Young Saudis, Vexed and Entranced by Love’s Rules

Young people in Saudi Arabia may chafe against the rules, but they can be merciless in their condemnation of those who flout them too brazenly.

Love on Girls’ Side of the Saudi Divide

The separation between the sexes in Saudi Arabia is so extreme that it is difficult to overstate.

Violence Leaves Young Iraqis Doubting Clerics

Many young people in Iraq have grown disillusioned with religious leaders and skeptical of the faith that they preach.

Stifled, Egypt’s Young Turn to Islamic Fervor

Forced to put off marriage and thwarted by a lackluster economy, many young people turn to religion for solace.

What do your relationships look like?
* Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?
* Do you live with them?
* Married/unmarried?
* Are you seeing several people at a time?
* And what would be your idea of a perfect relationship?

And: What rules and expectations does your society have redarding relationships?
* Is it even possible to go on a regular date without being married in your country?
* What happens if someone cheats?
* What happens if a man or a woman loves someone of the same sex?

Your answers will be translated into German and featured on their wonderful e-Zine. Please answer by sharing your first name and country.